shit always happens and you can't change it.. Trust me on that!
Christmas shopping is done, already AWESOME!
This is a short one!
Yes I am alive!
-Jo
Friday 28 October 2011
Saturday 22 October 2011
Something just
I have been thinking why I am so nice, I always forgive people, and I always respect other feelings, well other people's feelings.
Now to the thing, that is when I get engaged, really get that, I would not tell the whole world about it first I would actually mail some people because out of respect they should know it first. It can be someone that has liked me or liked my boyfriend, or people that should know it before the rest of you.
I mean if Michael and I break up I would want Michael to tell me when he has a new and not just show it to others before, and if he realise that he wants to get married to someone else and then get engaged I would appreciated that he tells me that in private than I hear it from someone else. So if me and Michael get engaged (well we will I know that, but not when really) I will tell like 4 people that before anyone else knows it, I am sorry but those four people deserves to know it before anyone else.
The thing is if you as a person can care about other people's feeling you have learn something really in this life. You can't just think about yourself always, than you are a very very selfish person, there is always someone in this world that has it worse than you. Trust me you aren't the person that has it worse, you have a head over your head, you have food, you have things, some people doesn't have that, and some are really ill. I know I am ill but I also know someone else has it worse than me.
If you forgive people when they have done to you they will learn that you have something nice in your soul. I do forgive many people the only thing I would be able to forgive is that someone cheats on me, because than that person would make me look like a fool. Honest the thing I really wan from people is honesty and if they don't give me that, then they aren't worth being in my life.
So if you have talked bad about me, I do forgive you. But if you have break my trust I can't forgive you as trust is everything I want in a relationship even if it is just friendship. Never lie to me, If I ask you something like, Have you ever talked trash about me, and what? and you have done it and say no. Honestly I know if you have done it if I ask you so don't say No, as then I would know you are just a lying person.
-Jo
Now to the thing, that is when I get engaged, really get that, I would not tell the whole world about it first I would actually mail some people because out of respect they should know it first. It can be someone that has liked me or liked my boyfriend, or people that should know it before the rest of you.
I mean if Michael and I break up I would want Michael to tell me when he has a new and not just show it to others before, and if he realise that he wants to get married to someone else and then get engaged I would appreciated that he tells me that in private than I hear it from someone else. So if me and Michael get engaged (well we will I know that, but not when really) I will tell like 4 people that before anyone else knows it, I am sorry but those four people deserves to know it before anyone else.
The thing is if you as a person can care about other people's feeling you have learn something really in this life. You can't just think about yourself always, than you are a very very selfish person, there is always someone in this world that has it worse than you. Trust me you aren't the person that has it worse, you have a head over your head, you have food, you have things, some people doesn't have that, and some are really ill. I know I am ill but I also know someone else has it worse than me.
If you forgive people when they have done to you they will learn that you have something nice in your soul. I do forgive many people the only thing I would be able to forgive is that someone cheats on me, because than that person would make me look like a fool. Honest the thing I really wan from people is honesty and if they don't give me that, then they aren't worth being in my life.
So if you have talked bad about me, I do forgive you. But if you have break my trust I can't forgive you as trust is everything I want in a relationship even if it is just friendship. Never lie to me, If I ask you something like, Have you ever talked trash about me, and what? and you have done it and say no. Honestly I know if you have done it if I ask you so don't say No, as then I would know you are just a lying person.
-Jo
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Fashion
Okay people I know this is a hard thing to do but this shows that we all have different views on fashion that is why I have chosen to take this picture above, This shoes is from a designer named Christian Dior, and honest even if I like the shoes I would probably never ever buy them as they are to expensive.
Well when you talk about Fashion you always have to remember that there are a certain fashion designers that are huge as Chanel, Dior, Louis Vuitton, Fillipa K etc and all that cost is that there is designers that do the things.
I mean I can all tell you what I want in a fashion thing or recommend nice things, as I will do now..
Gucci dress
Alexander McQueen
Chanel bag
And the black one by Diane Von Frusten
I mean of course this would be an really expensive outfit but it would look great on you :D
So fashion is not just about the brand it is about the things you match together :D
Where I get my inspiration
People always ask me where I do get my inspiration to write on my
blog but honestly I really don't know where I get it. When I write
I seem just go to another place where I can hide, and be myself
no matter what, I know thee will be no one to judge me when I write it.
Just when they read the post but why would they want to read what I
have to say because I don't have so many good things to say really. Just
Common sense.
Jealousy is something everyone has been through, not you maybe but
maybe your boyfriend/grilfriend has been jealous or a friend. I
am not a jealous person there for I would never tell my friends, my loved
one to not be friend with anyone, because it it's their choice.
If you start to tell anyone that they can't be friend with someone than
according to me, you are the dickhead, because deep down you should
always follow your heart, and your own thoughts. If you want someone
in your life no one can tell you not to have that person in your life,
except that one person that might not want you in their life.
The thing is when you tell another persont that they can't be friends
with someone, please I beg you to think twice why do you not want that person
to be in that persons life? If you answer is because I don't like her/him than
you are really the person that are wrong, because you don't like a person doesn't
mean that the other person is bad, or anything, and why would your friend or
partner be wrong if they want to be friend with that person, for me you are
just a jealous person that try to own someone else, and that persons feelings.
That is not okay according to me.
The other thing I have been talking about is Cheating, why do people cheat?`
They say that boys cheats lots, well that most boys cheats, but that is wrong too.
As girls cheat as much, they don't tell people they are in a relationship. I have
a friend that even takes of her engagement ring because she wants to get a boy or
something like that. But honest do they think about anyone else than themself?
No they don't think about the other persont that they will hurt, I know that they
say that what you don't know about you don't have anything bad about. But they
should remember that the truth comes out later or sooner, I mean do they have as
much sex as before as they get it somewhere else from? They might say no to their
own partner and that person gets that feeling that they have done something wrong.
But you shall always remember that it's you that has done wrong, you have been
sleeping with someone else, shared your most intimate moments with someone else, that
isn't your love, that person you claim to love more than anything. You are the person
That makes me sick on the inside. I would never cheat I rather break up and tell the other
person that we are over, than to hurt him more than anything. You don't really
just think that the other person will smile when he/she finds out that you have
cheated on them. Honest they will lose hope for love and when you stop believing
in love you have lost the hope of the most beautiful thing in this world.
Most people think about themself that is true, as a humans are selfish deep down, but
we all can change that, if we slowly start to think about others. Other people
have it worse than what we have it, It depends where you live, and who you are.
Are you a strong person you would survive where ever you live in this world. But there
are somethings you really need where ever you live and that is clean water, and food.
Than you should have a roof over your head and you do survive.
I have been talking about love, alot about it, you have different loves, but deep down
love is somehting we should learn what it is about. It is not that you tell a person
I love you so much, even if you do. You have to show that person that you love him/her, with
actions, you can't just think that they will understand that you love them when you just say
it. I don't know why people think I am an ispiration to you, because for me it is easy
to just say that what I am thinking, because in the end the honesty leads you, and makes
you loved by others, If you always tell the truth you get the truth from others.
That is why I don't like liars, you can talk bad about me, but why do you want to talk bad
about me, I am a normal girl that has been through lots, and honest do you want me to talk
bad about you? I mean you get what you deserves in the end. If you are nice to people and
forgiving you will get that from other people.
I know you all wonder where I get things, and mostly I get it from the bible, and to read
about old wise people, I do read lots of things, and it makes me think in other ways.
the bible you don't have to follow it from A to B but you can read how you shall treat other
people other human being. The old filosofers like Platon, Aristotles, Sokrates, Freud, Wilde
etc had other views of the world and you should build your own view over the world.
I think the less things you own, the less money you have, the more happy you are, as you
really appreciated what you have in the first place.
Sometimes I might have something wise to say, but most of the times I speak from common sense
-Jo
blog but honestly I really don't know where I get it. When I write
I seem just go to another place where I can hide, and be myself
no matter what, I know thee will be no one to judge me when I write it.
Just when they read the post but why would they want to read what I
have to say because I don't have so many good things to say really. Just
Common sense.
Jealousy is something everyone has been through, not you maybe but
maybe your boyfriend/grilfriend has been jealous or a friend. I
am not a jealous person there for I would never tell my friends, my loved
one to not be friend with anyone, because it it's their choice.
If you start to tell anyone that they can't be friend with someone than
according to me, you are the dickhead, because deep down you should
always follow your heart, and your own thoughts. If you want someone
in your life no one can tell you not to have that person in your life,
except that one person that might not want you in their life.
The thing is when you tell another persont that they can't be friends
with someone, please I beg you to think twice why do you not want that person
to be in that persons life? If you answer is because I don't like her/him than
you are really the person that are wrong, because you don't like a person doesn't
mean that the other person is bad, or anything, and why would your friend or
partner be wrong if they want to be friend with that person, for me you are
just a jealous person that try to own someone else, and that persons feelings.
That is not okay according to me.
The other thing I have been talking about is Cheating, why do people cheat?`
They say that boys cheats lots, well that most boys cheats, but that is wrong too.
As girls cheat as much, they don't tell people they are in a relationship. I have
a friend that even takes of her engagement ring because she wants to get a boy or
something like that. But honest do they think about anyone else than themself?
No they don't think about the other persont that they will hurt, I know that they
say that what you don't know about you don't have anything bad about. But they
should remember that the truth comes out later or sooner, I mean do they have as
much sex as before as they get it somewhere else from? They might say no to their
own partner and that person gets that feeling that they have done something wrong.
But you shall always remember that it's you that has done wrong, you have been
sleeping with someone else, shared your most intimate moments with someone else, that
isn't your love, that person you claim to love more than anything. You are the person
That makes me sick on the inside. I would never cheat I rather break up and tell the other
person that we are over, than to hurt him more than anything. You don't really
just think that the other person will smile when he/she finds out that you have
cheated on them. Honest they will lose hope for love and when you stop believing
in love you have lost the hope of the most beautiful thing in this world.
Most people think about themself that is true, as a humans are selfish deep down, but
we all can change that, if we slowly start to think about others. Other people
have it worse than what we have it, It depends where you live, and who you are.
Are you a strong person you would survive where ever you live in this world. But there
are somethings you really need where ever you live and that is clean water, and food.
Than you should have a roof over your head and you do survive.
I have been talking about love, alot about it, you have different loves, but deep down
love is somehting we should learn what it is about. It is not that you tell a person
I love you so much, even if you do. You have to show that person that you love him/her, with
actions, you can't just think that they will understand that you love them when you just say
it. I don't know why people think I am an ispiration to you, because for me it is easy
to just say that what I am thinking, because in the end the honesty leads you, and makes
you loved by others, If you always tell the truth you get the truth from others.
That is why I don't like liars, you can talk bad about me, but why do you want to talk bad
about me, I am a normal girl that has been through lots, and honest do you want me to talk
bad about you? I mean you get what you deserves in the end. If you are nice to people and
forgiving you will get that from other people.
I know you all wonder where I get things, and mostly I get it from the bible, and to read
about old wise people, I do read lots of things, and it makes me think in other ways.
the bible you don't have to follow it from A to B but you can read how you shall treat other
people other human being. The old filosofers like Platon, Aristotles, Sokrates, Freud, Wilde
etc had other views of the world and you should build your own view over the world.
I think the less things you own, the less money you have, the more happy you are, as you
really appreciated what you have in the first place.
Sometimes I might have something wise to say, but most of the times I speak from common sense
-Jo
Sometimes I amaze myself when I think about my life, there haven't been so much luck at all, in friends, in life general, I started this blog to make someone listen to me, I can't believe that so many do read it honest I have over 300 people every month and because I write so badly randomly about anything.
The thing is that this blog has helped me more than anyone realise when everyone is thinking that I am the cold bitch most people that has read my blog realise that I am a pretty normal girl with normal feelings. The thing is that I never really show how much I get hurt, I have been taught in a young age not to show when you get hurt because people say something to you.
I have been called lots in my short but long life whore, slut, bitch, bimbo, idiot, way more. People has hit me, things like that. The thing is that I have tried to take my life once I wasn't that old either I was 11 years old, I am really happy that one parent found me and saved my life, I really wouldn't have been here if he wasn't walking his dog.
I have had eating disorder as people said I was fat when I wasn't I wasn't that strong when I was younger, now I am stronger way stronger that I think. I have always had really bad luck but than I have some glad moments, that actually made me think about other things than the bulling I had have in my life.
I was good in swimming, won lots of medals, I was good in running, helped me not being beaten up so much. I was strong always stood up for others that got bullied and got myself in the trouble. Beat up three boys when they bullied one of my friends.
I have always had a good relationship with my parents, and somehow I have found the best person in this world, and he loves me as much as I love him, so I think all that bad things that has happen to me, has formed me to who I am today.
I am not scared anymore of anything, not even for my operation I will have to do, in my heart, as I will have someone to hold my hand, when I am scared I know everyone else is as scared that I will die when I am as I am today. I can't really be scared because than it would be bad.
Some people always tell me who nice and sweet I am as a person, I can never see anything bad in anyone, even if people have treated me bad, and I mean really bad I can see the good side. You can always get my forgiveness as I see good thing in people. Even if they have hard time to see the good things about them I can see them.
You should always be nice and polite to people, and don't talk bad about anyone it always lead to mean things in the end.
All I am going to say really is that Life is always worth living no matter what bad you have in it it can only get better
-Jo
The thing is that this blog has helped me more than anyone realise when everyone is thinking that I am the cold bitch most people that has read my blog realise that I am a pretty normal girl with normal feelings. The thing is that I never really show how much I get hurt, I have been taught in a young age not to show when you get hurt because people say something to you.
I have been called lots in my short but long life whore, slut, bitch, bimbo, idiot, way more. People has hit me, things like that. The thing is that I have tried to take my life once I wasn't that old either I was 11 years old, I am really happy that one parent found me and saved my life, I really wouldn't have been here if he wasn't walking his dog.
I have had eating disorder as people said I was fat when I wasn't I wasn't that strong when I was younger, now I am stronger way stronger that I think. I have always had really bad luck but than I have some glad moments, that actually made me think about other things than the bulling I had have in my life.
I was good in swimming, won lots of medals, I was good in running, helped me not being beaten up so much. I was strong always stood up for others that got bullied and got myself in the trouble. Beat up three boys when they bullied one of my friends.
I have always had a good relationship with my parents, and somehow I have found the best person in this world, and he loves me as much as I love him, so I think all that bad things that has happen to me, has formed me to who I am today.
I am not scared anymore of anything, not even for my operation I will have to do, in my heart, as I will have someone to hold my hand, when I am scared I know everyone else is as scared that I will die when I am as I am today. I can't really be scared because than it would be bad.
Some people always tell me who nice and sweet I am as a person, I can never see anything bad in anyone, even if people have treated me bad, and I mean really bad I can see the good side. You can always get my forgiveness as I see good thing in people. Even if they have hard time to see the good things about them I can see them.
You should always be nice and polite to people, and don't talk bad about anyone it always lead to mean things in the end.
All I am going to say really is that Life is always worth living no matter what bad you have in it it can only get better
-Jo
Tuesday 18 October 2011
Dilemma's
Today I am going to talk about unhappy love and what some friends might want you to do. But you can't as it is to hard to deal with, as you can be friends with both but the other one don't see that you have to be loyal to both of them and that is hard.
Lets say that you are friend with two people one girl and one boy where the one person likes the other I will choose the girl now, that she is in love with the boy and I will even name the boy and the girl just because it gets easier, this is not a true story but more of a dilemma and what you can do and things like that
Boy will be named Nick
Girl will be named Nikita
Nikita is really in love with Nick, would have been easy if Nick Liked Nikita too more than a friend but that is not happening here, we need him to be in love with someone else for the fun so he is in love with some other girl that is called Angelica. Anyway Nick one day asks you as you are friend with him to met that Angelica that he is dating, and you know that Nikita will get angry and feel betrayed of you if you meet her, so what would you do?
I would not tell Nikita that I am going to meet that new girl Angelica, just because I feel I have to be supported to my friend Nick, and that girl he likes, and If nikita do get angry because I met his girlfriend/date she isn't a real friend. She would actually let me met her without telling me not to met her. I know that I should support Nikita. But what happens if I say no to Nick, I might lose him as a mate.
Nikita wants you to help her break up Nick with the new girl Angelica, How wold you handle that?
I think the best thing is to tell Nikita to get over Nick as he is in love with the other girl, and I know that nikita will not listen to me, but in the end she will see that I want her best and that she should forget someone that is not loving you in the same way. Nikita can say what she wants, but in the end she has to forget Nick as he don't love her.
What if Nick and Nikita starts to fight?
This is the worst part in the end, as you can't stand in anyone's side here, you have to stay out from the fight, and let them fight. Nick will probably tell Nikita that he and her will never happen, and all that Nikita wants is Nick to love her, but you can't change a thing there as it is feelings.
Now to the worst dilemma of all Nick Likes you, and Nikita loves him.
This is the worst possible thing that can happen, all you really can do here, is to tell Nick that you and him will not happen as Nikita likes him and you respect Nikita as a person, and if he really likes you he would not date you when he knows Nikita loving him.
Because deep down a person knows if someone likes you more than a friend you always make something to tell that you love that person, I mean you always want to talk to him/her, the thing is that the person that gets the Nikita, will probably avoid her, because girls get pretty much annoying when they fall in love, and are unhappy in love.
-Jo
Lets say that you are friend with two people one girl and one boy where the one person likes the other I will choose the girl now, that she is in love with the boy and I will even name the boy and the girl just because it gets easier, this is not a true story but more of a dilemma and what you can do and things like that
Boy will be named Nick
Girl will be named Nikita
Nikita is really in love with Nick, would have been easy if Nick Liked Nikita too more than a friend but that is not happening here, we need him to be in love with someone else for the fun so he is in love with some other girl that is called Angelica. Anyway Nick one day asks you as you are friend with him to met that Angelica that he is dating, and you know that Nikita will get angry and feel betrayed of you if you meet her, so what would you do?
I would not tell Nikita that I am going to meet that new girl Angelica, just because I feel I have to be supported to my friend Nick, and that girl he likes, and If nikita do get angry because I met his girlfriend/date she isn't a real friend. She would actually let me met her without telling me not to met her. I know that I should support Nikita. But what happens if I say no to Nick, I might lose him as a mate.
Nikita wants you to help her break up Nick with the new girl Angelica, How wold you handle that?
I think the best thing is to tell Nikita to get over Nick as he is in love with the other girl, and I know that nikita will not listen to me, but in the end she will see that I want her best and that she should forget someone that is not loving you in the same way. Nikita can say what she wants, but in the end she has to forget Nick as he don't love her.
What if Nick and Nikita starts to fight?
This is the worst part in the end, as you can't stand in anyone's side here, you have to stay out from the fight, and let them fight. Nick will probably tell Nikita that he and her will never happen, and all that Nikita wants is Nick to love her, but you can't change a thing there as it is feelings.
Now to the worst dilemma of all Nick Likes you, and Nikita loves him.
This is the worst possible thing that can happen, all you really can do here, is to tell Nick that you and him will not happen as Nikita likes him and you respect Nikita as a person, and if he really likes you he would not date you when he knows Nikita loving him.
Because deep down a person knows if someone likes you more than a friend you always make something to tell that you love that person, I mean you always want to talk to him/her, the thing is that the person that gets the Nikita, will probably avoid her, because girls get pretty much annoying when they fall in love, and are unhappy in love.
-Jo
Friends and Enemies
You all have friends, you all have enemies.
The different thing about friends and enemies is that the other one can be hurting you way more than the other. I mean If I had a friend that becomes my enemy that person knows to much about me and then they hurt me in a different way than the regular enemy you have.
If your enemies are there to hurt you because you accidentally start to like a person that they like, you look at them in the wrong way, because you don't have a swedish last name etc they can not hurt you as much as a close friend or a ex friend can. Because they really don't know you and that makes them just morons that are mostly unhappy themselves.
But when your friend start to hurt you it actually doesn't make any sense. It can be so little that start that spiral, when you like the same guy, you are better than your friend in something, they hurt you in a meaner way. like saying, you are ugly, and stupid, loud and clear so everyone can hear it. They make fun with you because they want to look better themselves.
What I mean is that if you like the same person they can make you look like an totally idiot to that person, by talking things they make up, tell the worst parts of you, and everything else.
So who is easiest to forgive? The friend or the enemy? I think the enemy is the easiest to forgive as your friend was someone you trust but broke the trust. The same is with love if he breaks the trust you had in him, it is hard to rebuild.
The different thing about friends and enemies is that the other one can be hurting you way more than the other. I mean If I had a friend that becomes my enemy that person knows to much about me and then they hurt me in a different way than the regular enemy you have.
If your enemies are there to hurt you because you accidentally start to like a person that they like, you look at them in the wrong way, because you don't have a swedish last name etc they can not hurt you as much as a close friend or a ex friend can. Because they really don't know you and that makes them just morons that are mostly unhappy themselves.
But when your friend start to hurt you it actually doesn't make any sense. It can be so little that start that spiral, when you like the same guy, you are better than your friend in something, they hurt you in a meaner way. like saying, you are ugly, and stupid, loud and clear so everyone can hear it. They make fun with you because they want to look better themselves.
What I mean is that if you like the same person they can make you look like an totally idiot to that person, by talking things they make up, tell the worst parts of you, and everything else.
So who is easiest to forgive? The friend or the enemy? I think the enemy is the easiest to forgive as your friend was someone you trust but broke the trust. The same is with love if he breaks the trust you had in him, it is hard to rebuild.
Sunday 16 October 2011
Taking back my love?
Can you really take back your love, when you have broke up, even if it was in a fight? The moment you say it is over, you have left me behind you and honest would you be able to take back me? If I leave my love I know I would regret it and want him back, but I would never take him back as I left him, my stupid mistake than! Or would I fight to get him back?
The thing is if you fight with your loved one and say I want to break up because he don't agree with you in some silly thing. Well I mean If I say It's over I would be to stubborn to say I am wrong, and that I love you, because I know myself and I would cry. No way I would fight to get my love back, if I love him I would do anything to get him to see that I love him, and honest I can fight with any other chick on this world as I know that I am well good looking, there are others that isnt that lucky as I am HAHA
The thing is I would fight for what I want, honest I would never give up I am way to stubborn, If I don't get what I want I just be the Johanna that some people get to see the stubborn bitch I am. Honest to god why would I give up that easy, if I want something. I can even be to stubborn in some things that is bad too, but I know when it is screwed for me, and I dont get anywhere.
But if my bf dumps me I would feel like a complete idiot that never saw it coming and I would actually not fight to get him back than, because if he dumps me then he don't realise that he misses the best girl in this world according to me. I mean he might get feelings for another girl and why would I want to destroy his happiness when I want him to be happy? If it is not with me so be, even if it is hard I would let him be happy with someone else.
The thing is you should be able to fight if you know that the boy loves you, but if you know deep down that he doesnt love you don't fight because it will just end that he hates you in the end!
the same is with friends you cant fight to get them to like you with other person, they like you because you are yourself, the same with the lads, they like you because you are you and no one else.
The same is with me I love someone because they stand for what they like and think and feel, but mostly because I love someone it would be hard to let them go out from your life but sometimes you have to..
The thing is if you fight with your loved one and say I want to break up because he don't agree with you in some silly thing. Well I mean If I say It's over I would be to stubborn to say I am wrong, and that I love you, because I know myself and I would cry. No way I would fight to get my love back, if I love him I would do anything to get him to see that I love him, and honest I can fight with any other chick on this world as I know that I am well good looking, there are others that isnt that lucky as I am HAHA
The thing is I would fight for what I want, honest I would never give up I am way to stubborn, If I don't get what I want I just be the Johanna that some people get to see the stubborn bitch I am. Honest to god why would I give up that easy, if I want something. I can even be to stubborn in some things that is bad too, but I know when it is screwed for me, and I dont get anywhere.
But if my bf dumps me I would feel like a complete idiot that never saw it coming and I would actually not fight to get him back than, because if he dumps me then he don't realise that he misses the best girl in this world according to me. I mean he might get feelings for another girl and why would I want to destroy his happiness when I want him to be happy? If it is not with me so be, even if it is hard I would let him be happy with someone else.
The thing is you should be able to fight if you know that the boy loves you, but if you know deep down that he doesnt love you don't fight because it will just end that he hates you in the end!
the same is with friends you cant fight to get them to like you with other person, they like you because you are yourself, the same with the lads, they like you because you are you and no one else.
The same is with me I love someone because they stand for what they like and think and feel, but mostly because I love someone it would be hard to let them go out from your life but sometimes you have to..
Today I am going to talk about people that bugs me with lots of things, it can be people that don't realise that they bug me with those things or that. But now I am going to talk about things that people should know, that they shouldn't talk to me about. I would be fucking happy if people get that too.
Let me talk about the first thing that actually bugs me the most that is that people really are trying to tell me that my RELATIONSHIP will sink as a ship. Okay my friends think they know me so fucking good, that they are telling me that my relationship will not hold, just because he is younger than me, that he isn't rich and that I am a gold digger and that I need someone that is rich, then they say that he can't make me happy in bed, and that he makes me sad. So now to the point have they seen me with him, No they haven't seen me, because those that has seen me with Michael says that I shine like a sun, because I am so happy. To the other thing, that my partner has to be rich, I couldn't give a shite if he was rich or poor, to be honest I am more happy now than I have ever been, and that is when I think about my ex he was kinda rich but I wasn't happy with him, all I ever thought about was that I had to look hot and sexy and that failed a lot. Just look money makes you unhappy in some other way. Really I don't care if my partner is rich or poor, so my friends that thinks I am a gold digger FUCK OFF! Now to the other thing, how he is in bed you don't know that as you haven't had him, but I do know if he makes me happy or unhappy in bed. Honestly do I have to tell you everything how he is in bed, how he moves? No I don't have to tell you that, so please stop telling me that my relationship will die because of this silly things!
The other thing that really bugs me is that people moans that I am not married and have kids, honest some people have been married and got divorced and are married again, for fucks sake you don't even know what love is about! So what the hell would I listen to you, if you are bright, you should really think about yourself. Having kids is one other thing that people bug me about, but honest, let me get kids when I am ready for that responsibility, It is not just to make love, and get pregnant you actually have to take care of another person, until that is 18 oh yeah I do want kids some time but not now, as I am not ready for it. Not today at least. Some people have 5-8 kids and they are 27 years old what have they actually done the last 9 years? You can always guess, nothing fun I guess.
Why the hell do people think I am lying about my heart? I mean I know that I have operate my own heart, oh wait you don't even see if you are ill or anything because EVERYTHING is about YOU. oh I don't feel good, I am not happy, I don't have a boyfriend, I am so FAT, blah blah I mean why don't you take a step and make you feel good, and trying to be happy why do you always have to be so damn NEGATIVE ARGH! Leave me fucking alone, I am happy I don't need to hear you babling about things that doesn't mean anything to me, all you want is to take my boyfriend, my life and because of that you are making yourself like a victim. I can see right through you! ARGH so fucking annoyed at people they should really not stick their nose in my life they don't even know anything! oh why do you have a scarf between your boobs? oh why do you think I have it because I want to! pffft people are so stupid sometimes
Why the hell do people always think that I want to try everything in bed way? why do they think I would cheat on my boyfriend? why do they think I am a gold digger? and mostly why the hell do they think I am a cold bitch?
Let me say this no wonder I become the cold bitch as you say I become, as you always trying to control me doesn't matter who you are always trying to control me, by saying that I should dump my boyfriend, change friends, not be with my family! Always fucking trying to change me, I am sick of it! If you can't take that I am who I am than fuck off my life and let me be who I am.
Then the other that bugs me about kids and wedding, you should think about what you self have done, are you really happy to have a kid with a loser, or do you feel happy to have 5-8 kids, are you happy that you have been cheating on your ex husband so you could get your divorce? UH you are not title to tell me what love is about as you don't fucking know what love is about!
Then to the other things, just stop to control me and let me do my own FUCKING mistakes!
THANK YOU !
-Johanna
Let me talk about the first thing that actually bugs me the most that is that people really are trying to tell me that my RELATIONSHIP will sink as a ship. Okay my friends think they know me so fucking good, that they are telling me that my relationship will not hold, just because he is younger than me, that he isn't rich and that I am a gold digger and that I need someone that is rich, then they say that he can't make me happy in bed, and that he makes me sad. So now to the point have they seen me with him, No they haven't seen me, because those that has seen me with Michael says that I shine like a sun, because I am so happy. To the other thing, that my partner has to be rich, I couldn't give a shite if he was rich or poor, to be honest I am more happy now than I have ever been, and that is when I think about my ex he was kinda rich but I wasn't happy with him, all I ever thought about was that I had to look hot and sexy and that failed a lot. Just look money makes you unhappy in some other way. Really I don't care if my partner is rich or poor, so my friends that thinks I am a gold digger FUCK OFF! Now to the other thing, how he is in bed you don't know that as you haven't had him, but I do know if he makes me happy or unhappy in bed. Honestly do I have to tell you everything how he is in bed, how he moves? No I don't have to tell you that, so please stop telling me that my relationship will die because of this silly things!
The other thing that really bugs me is that people moans that I am not married and have kids, honest some people have been married and got divorced and are married again, for fucks sake you don't even know what love is about! So what the hell would I listen to you, if you are bright, you should really think about yourself. Having kids is one other thing that people bug me about, but honest, let me get kids when I am ready for that responsibility, It is not just to make love, and get pregnant you actually have to take care of another person, until that is 18 oh yeah I do want kids some time but not now, as I am not ready for it. Not today at least. Some people have 5-8 kids and they are 27 years old what have they actually done the last 9 years? You can always guess, nothing fun I guess.
Why the hell do people think I am lying about my heart? I mean I know that I have operate my own heart, oh wait you don't even see if you are ill or anything because EVERYTHING is about YOU. oh I don't feel good, I am not happy, I don't have a boyfriend, I am so FAT, blah blah I mean why don't you take a step and make you feel good, and trying to be happy why do you always have to be so damn NEGATIVE ARGH! Leave me fucking alone, I am happy I don't need to hear you babling about things that doesn't mean anything to me, all you want is to take my boyfriend, my life and because of that you are making yourself like a victim. I can see right through you! ARGH so fucking annoyed at people they should really not stick their nose in my life they don't even know anything! oh why do you have a scarf between your boobs? oh why do you think I have it because I want to! pffft people are so stupid sometimes
Why the hell do people always think that I want to try everything in bed way? why do they think I would cheat on my boyfriend? why do they think I am a gold digger? and mostly why the hell do they think I am a cold bitch?
Let me say this no wonder I become the cold bitch as you say I become, as you always trying to control me doesn't matter who you are always trying to control me, by saying that I should dump my boyfriend, change friends, not be with my family! Always fucking trying to change me, I am sick of it! If you can't take that I am who I am than fuck off my life and let me be who I am.
Then the other that bugs me about kids and wedding, you should think about what you self have done, are you really happy to have a kid with a loser, or do you feel happy to have 5-8 kids, are you happy that you have been cheating on your ex husband so you could get your divorce? UH you are not title to tell me what love is about as you don't fucking know what love is about!
Then to the other things, just stop to control me and let me do my own FUCKING mistakes!
THANK YOU !
-Johanna
Saturday 15 October 2011
Football and what I see in that
When I see fans fighting with other fans from different teams in football I don't see a true supporter. What I mean is that you represent your team, so if you fight with people that isn't from your team what do you show others. I know people will hate me when I say this but you are actually representing your team, and the players are doing it too.
Now to the thing that bugs me that is that team fans fight with each other a true supporter don't do that as they respect the other teams fans. I know I am sick of the fighting in what sport you look in to there should not be fighting, it should be fun and great to go to a game, and to enjoy it. I have been in the complete wrong squad I mean I am a Frölunda HC supporter (ice hockey) and I was sitting in the other teams supporter, and when we scored I actually screamed so loud that everyone knew that I was a FHC supporter, the thing was that I talked with the other teams supporter and it was good, but when I have been on other games supporter are fighting each other and that shows off what a supporter you are, you aren't there to enjoy the game, and to watch the sport you are there for the fight and that is not good.
The same is in football why do you throw things on the other teams player, I mean I know how you can end that thing, get the victory to the other team if it is your fans that do it, but if it is the other team, they should lose the game too! Sweden have lots of trouble with this at the moment with Bengalian fires, throwing things on the other teams player. The thing is you can punish all the fans by not letting them see the game, but that is just to punish your own team as they will not have the wonderful united fans cheering on them. During a game you always hear the rivals screaming we will win, all the boo sounds, but that is the atmosphere in a stadium, but the other team will see that your team is more united when you cheer and respect the other team.
The players do represent the team, and if they do bad things outside that effects the team view and the same it is with the fans, you do represent your team, and are the picture out so lets say I am Arsenal fan and hates everyone and get more to do the same, and fight with others, and hit things on the other players, that would give a bad view on Arsenal as a team, and that is nothing I would want to do if I am a true supporter. I would show respect to the other team as they are as united as we are. The more respect you give to others the more respect you will get back, and that makes you a strong team, and strong teams win usually :D
Love and peace !
Now to the thing that bugs me that is that team fans fight with each other a true supporter don't do that as they respect the other teams fans. I know I am sick of the fighting in what sport you look in to there should not be fighting, it should be fun and great to go to a game, and to enjoy it. I have been in the complete wrong squad I mean I am a Frölunda HC supporter (ice hockey) and I was sitting in the other teams supporter, and when we scored I actually screamed so loud that everyone knew that I was a FHC supporter, the thing was that I talked with the other teams supporter and it was good, but when I have been on other games supporter are fighting each other and that shows off what a supporter you are, you aren't there to enjoy the game, and to watch the sport you are there for the fight and that is not good.
The same is in football why do you throw things on the other teams player, I mean I know how you can end that thing, get the victory to the other team if it is your fans that do it, but if it is the other team, they should lose the game too! Sweden have lots of trouble with this at the moment with Bengalian fires, throwing things on the other teams player. The thing is you can punish all the fans by not letting them see the game, but that is just to punish your own team as they will not have the wonderful united fans cheering on them. During a game you always hear the rivals screaming we will win, all the boo sounds, but that is the atmosphere in a stadium, but the other team will see that your team is more united when you cheer and respect the other team.
The players do represent the team, and if they do bad things outside that effects the team view and the same it is with the fans, you do represent your team, and are the picture out so lets say I am Arsenal fan and hates everyone and get more to do the same, and fight with others, and hit things on the other players, that would give a bad view on Arsenal as a team, and that is nothing I would want to do if I am a true supporter. I would show respect to the other team as they are as united as we are. The more respect you give to others the more respect you will get back, and that makes you a strong team, and strong teams win usually :D
Love and peace !
Friday 14 October 2011
I guess I shall name this love lmao
When you fall in love with someone you don't plan out to fall for the person, but the thing is you should be able to control how you feel when you are in public, if there is anyone else that likes the person and mostly of all you should be able to tell the person that you like him/her more than a friend.
Okay now to the biggest problem of all you have had it and I have had it, when you and your mate get feelings for the same person, the same dude, and you don't manage to talk about it, or you do manage to talk about it. But the person you like can't deal with it, and it leads to really deep shit. I don't know if it is you or your friend that is a coward, or if it is the guy in the question that is a coward? I mean if you and your friend talk and say that you are truly like that person and he knows it and your friend says the same, but the lad in the question says that he likes both of you? who is it to blame when hell breaks lose? Of course it is the lads fault he has lead you in to the darkness, and he will always be the one that never tells you the truth until it is really fucked up.
Me and my girl mate decided one day to not fall for the same lad, but the thing was that we both did, and the thing was that it was to late when we both had fallen for the same boy. I guess it was my fault in the beginning before everything got to deep, I knew that my mate liked him and I never planed to love him but I did. It hit me really to late, that I loved the person, I fucking loved him so much already, this is my story and my friend she has her own view you all shall remember that.
Well it was in the start of winter the snow was falling and I was talking to a person online on MSN and he was telling me that he was going to get in to fight with another person, the thing that actually hit me when we where talking about this was that I loved him, well not loved but liked him more and more, then thing was I was to deep with my feelings about this boy and my friend was talking with us, and all I hope is that I never showed it to much in the beginning, but it hit me like a lightning, I really was worried about this boy. I talked to him private and I even got the name to the other lad, and I looked up him, well I even mailed him I think not sure though, but when I talked to the person I liked I never wanted him to get hurt, and I was worried sick all I remember was that I was a really worried person, poor him. The thing was that my friend was as worried as I was.
The weeks went by and I know before new years eve I told him that I liked him more than a friend, and to my big fat surprise he told me that he liked me too, and I do remember that me and that other girl my mate was talking about him, and she told me that he loved her, and that got me hurt, it felt like my heart was made of ice and broke apart as I liked him too. The thing was that the boy and me spoke so much on skype and msn, and the feelings just got deeper and deeper, soon enough I actually told him I love you, he always told me the same things, but the thing was I guess he told the other girl the same words as he told me.
The more I loved him the more my friend started to hate me, as she loved him first she just thought I was doing lots of wrongs, and to one point it went so bad that that friend started to hate me, and I know this as I had the password to lads facebook, and I saw what people said about me, and things like that, but my only happiness was that he told the girl that he would go to bed but instead he talked to me, for hours, and we talked not on msn or skype, we both open a yahoo Messenger so we could talk to each other in private, but then the collapse came, as it always does.
The girl told me so nice that they two where a couple, and that he hated me, and didn't want to talk to me, but the thing even if I felt hurt me and him talked for hours and that, but in the end he choose that girl over me, and I have never in my whole life felt so alone, and so ugly but the thing was that the whole situation had just gone bad. he deleted me everywhere and tried to completely delete me out from his life
But now to things, we did talk he was never able to delete me as he loved me, he had realized that a bit to late, well lets say it like this, when he choose the other girl he thought he did the right thing but it wasn't he started to miss, me and we started to talk slowly again with each other and he even told my sister before me that he loved me, and when he told me that he actually loved me, it was like WOW, because I loved him, and I tried to push away all those feelings, it ended up that we got together and he told the other girl that he love me. My friend deleted me out from her life and she said that a boy would never come between us but she let a boy come between us, because when he choose me she never even cared that I was hurt that she ended our friendship. The things is that me and him are still together and we are really happy, he is the right one for me, but the thing is that my friendship got lost, even if me and that girl talks today, we will never have the same friend relationship as we had before because of that boy.
I really just regret one thing, and that is not to tell my friend that I liked him before I told him.
-Jo
Okay now to the biggest problem of all you have had it and I have had it, when you and your mate get feelings for the same person, the same dude, and you don't manage to talk about it, or you do manage to talk about it. But the person you like can't deal with it, and it leads to really deep shit. I don't know if it is you or your friend that is a coward, or if it is the guy in the question that is a coward? I mean if you and your friend talk and say that you are truly like that person and he knows it and your friend says the same, but the lad in the question says that he likes both of you? who is it to blame when hell breaks lose? Of course it is the lads fault he has lead you in to the darkness, and he will always be the one that never tells you the truth until it is really fucked up.
Me and my girl mate decided one day to not fall for the same lad, but the thing was that we both did, and the thing was that it was to late when we both had fallen for the same boy. I guess it was my fault in the beginning before everything got to deep, I knew that my mate liked him and I never planed to love him but I did. It hit me really to late, that I loved the person, I fucking loved him so much already, this is my story and my friend she has her own view you all shall remember that.
Well it was in the start of winter the snow was falling and I was talking to a person online on MSN and he was telling me that he was going to get in to fight with another person, the thing that actually hit me when we where talking about this was that I loved him, well not loved but liked him more and more, then thing was I was to deep with my feelings about this boy and my friend was talking with us, and all I hope is that I never showed it to much in the beginning, but it hit me like a lightning, I really was worried about this boy. I talked to him private and I even got the name to the other lad, and I looked up him, well I even mailed him I think not sure though, but when I talked to the person I liked I never wanted him to get hurt, and I was worried sick all I remember was that I was a really worried person, poor him. The thing was that my friend was as worried as I was.
The weeks went by and I know before new years eve I told him that I liked him more than a friend, and to my big fat surprise he told me that he liked me too, and I do remember that me and that other girl my mate was talking about him, and she told me that he loved her, and that got me hurt, it felt like my heart was made of ice and broke apart as I liked him too. The thing was that the boy and me spoke so much on skype and msn, and the feelings just got deeper and deeper, soon enough I actually told him I love you, he always told me the same things, but the thing was I guess he told the other girl the same words as he told me.
The more I loved him the more my friend started to hate me, as she loved him first she just thought I was doing lots of wrongs, and to one point it went so bad that that friend started to hate me, and I know this as I had the password to lads facebook, and I saw what people said about me, and things like that, but my only happiness was that he told the girl that he would go to bed but instead he talked to me, for hours, and we talked not on msn or skype, we both open a yahoo Messenger so we could talk to each other in private, but then the collapse came, as it always does.
The girl told me so nice that they two where a couple, and that he hated me, and didn't want to talk to me, but the thing even if I felt hurt me and him talked for hours and that, but in the end he choose that girl over me, and I have never in my whole life felt so alone, and so ugly but the thing was that the whole situation had just gone bad. he deleted me everywhere and tried to completely delete me out from his life
But now to things, we did talk he was never able to delete me as he loved me, he had realized that a bit to late, well lets say it like this, when he choose the other girl he thought he did the right thing but it wasn't he started to miss, me and we started to talk slowly again with each other and he even told my sister before me that he loved me, and when he told me that he actually loved me, it was like WOW, because I loved him, and I tried to push away all those feelings, it ended up that we got together and he told the other girl that he love me. My friend deleted me out from her life and she said that a boy would never come between us but she let a boy come between us, because when he choose me she never even cared that I was hurt that she ended our friendship. The things is that me and him are still together and we are really happy, he is the right one for me, but the thing is that my friendship got lost, even if me and that girl talks today, we will never have the same friend relationship as we had before because of that boy.
I really just regret one thing, and that is not to tell my friend that I liked him before I told him.
-Jo
Me :D
Today I am actually gonna talk about one thing that actually means something to me, myself I know you all think you fucking know me, but do you know me? Not really so here is the truth about Johanna Maria.
Now where can I actually start with myself I was born on a Saturday, it was 4 pm when I decided to come in to this world, and see the day light, it was snowing, a really bad snow weather according to my parents don't remember anything at all to be fair. It was 15th of December, I think I decided to come out to sleep my first Christmas.
Well I was a normal kid when I was young, well lets not say that, but I did like to climb on things and I was pretty much wildish of me, I do remember one thing, I was with a cousin, well the thing was that we played it was a boy cousin of course, so we decided to climb on the bookshelf was pretty much a bad idea, as it fell down on both of us, but the funny thing we didn't get hurt or anything like that, we laughed like two small kids. This can have been when I was under 5 years old. I loved to play with guns, and things like that, not so much with dolls and that, but the thing I did love to play with was my doll house, but not that much, I have always loved to play in the forest, hide and seek, catch things like that.
The biggest change in my life came when I was 5 years old well almost as I did my heart operation, the things I do remember from that time, is something I really don't wish for anyone else to remember, waking up during an operation, having pain when you try to walk, mostly painful memories, but the thing is that I loved my heart doctor he was a brilliant man, always made me think different about what I had and have. He also said to me that I should prepare for another operation, as my heart somehow leaks still, though it do it with most people, but not that much as I have.
Well the worst thing that happen to me was moving to Skepplanda, people here have never liked me, so they have always been bulling me about things, when we had PE they always said I was Frankenstein bride as I have my operation scarf, my last name, where I am from things like that. I really don't like the people here, they are all the same, backstabbing bitches that never can be trusted.
When I think back on things I am not bad at doing things, was good in swimming, was good in PE was actually really good at lots of stuff, like Math, Politics, Social studies, history, Physics and things like that, as I never had anything to do I read stuff that most people wouldn't have been reading before they where 15 years old, I have to say one of the best books I have read is Iliad by Homeros, it is about the troy war, well the thing is most people can't read it as when you read it you have to sing it in your head, pretty awesome.
I like to read lots of stuff but I never tell anyone what I read and why I read the stuff I do read, I always read lots of things on the web, maybe it is time to tell you all what I read, what I like to do, okay lets start with shows I like to watch Pretty Little Liars, CSI, Criminal minds, South Park, The Simpsons, The Family guy, Nikita, and Gossip girl, but then I like to watch things that educate me in things like natural hazards, politic, historical programs. I know pretty weird. I am reading a book about Adolf Hitler at the moment, it is really good, have learned a lot of new things, I have been reading about the Winter war in Finland too. But when I tend to read stuff on the internet I tend to go and read about space, Politics, Economics, History, and about countries, been reading lots about Mexico and how the narcotic comes in to USA, but also how they kidnap people from US to let them be prostitute, I read things that I think is interesting but most people would feel is boring.
Now to the other thing that I am proud to share with everyone here about myself, I have been through really bad time when I look back at my past, I have been hurt, heart broken, kicked, and all sort of things, but it has made me to who I am today, what I like and mostly to try to close out people from my life that is why I only have so little friends that I trust in, honest to god, I only trust in five people in this world, and that is up to those five people to know, not everyone else, if you think you are one of them you might be that, or you might not be that one.
People always say they know me but I highly doubt that, I do know so many things, seen many things, and mostly I do read a person pretty well. The thing is even if a person have treated you bad, you should always see the best side of that person, and forgive him/her, be the biggest person, I do read the bible yeah, But it has been a good book to read to learn how you should act to another person, if you want everyone to hate you, Start hating everyone! I know even if I see good things in people that has hurt me to the max, they can never take away my dignity by seeing the good thing in them, I mean I have lots of people I should hate, but I don't hate anyone of them. There is only one person of everyone that has treated me bad that I can't see anything good in, as that person is very selfish, just say it like this, that person thinks the world spins around her/him.
Now to the things that matters in my life, that I couldn't survive without, it is my love Michael, I really need him, to be the better person, to be the kind none selfish person as I am right now, I can give advice to people I don't care about and things like that all because he has picked out the soft Johanna that I am.
My cats, I am nuts about them they are my babies, I love them to death, they are giving me so much happiness when I am sad or down, I can always just go to them and give them a huge hug and say I love you and they just hug you back.
I can't live without my annoying family either, they mean so much to me, I do get sick tired of them lots of times but they are those I can go back to if everything fucks up and just be myself.
Now to the thing, Who of you have seen the real Johanna, that cries when she feels sad and lonely? The person that speaks, laugh and sleeps in the same time? The person that says she wants to achieve what she has on her mind? The goofy person as I am, the clumsy?
I know this has been a long arsed blog, but the thing is that the day I was born was the day my death day was written, and until that day has come I want to have achieve lots of things that actually would make my family proud of who I am, when they see me from heaven.
-JO
Now where can I actually start with myself I was born on a Saturday, it was 4 pm when I decided to come in to this world, and see the day light, it was snowing, a really bad snow weather according to my parents don't remember anything at all to be fair. It was 15th of December, I think I decided to come out to sleep my first Christmas.
Well I was a normal kid when I was young, well lets not say that, but I did like to climb on things and I was pretty much wildish of me, I do remember one thing, I was with a cousin, well the thing was that we played it was a boy cousin of course, so we decided to climb on the bookshelf was pretty much a bad idea, as it fell down on both of us, but the funny thing we didn't get hurt or anything like that, we laughed like two small kids. This can have been when I was under 5 years old. I loved to play with guns, and things like that, not so much with dolls and that, but the thing I did love to play with was my doll house, but not that much, I have always loved to play in the forest, hide and seek, catch things like that.
The biggest change in my life came when I was 5 years old well almost as I did my heart operation, the things I do remember from that time, is something I really don't wish for anyone else to remember, waking up during an operation, having pain when you try to walk, mostly painful memories, but the thing is that I loved my heart doctor he was a brilliant man, always made me think different about what I had and have. He also said to me that I should prepare for another operation, as my heart somehow leaks still, though it do it with most people, but not that much as I have.
Well the worst thing that happen to me was moving to Skepplanda, people here have never liked me, so they have always been bulling me about things, when we had PE they always said I was Frankenstein bride as I have my operation scarf, my last name, where I am from things like that. I really don't like the people here, they are all the same, backstabbing bitches that never can be trusted.
When I think back on things I am not bad at doing things, was good in swimming, was good in PE was actually really good at lots of stuff, like Math, Politics, Social studies, history, Physics and things like that, as I never had anything to do I read stuff that most people wouldn't have been reading before they where 15 years old, I have to say one of the best books I have read is Iliad by Homeros, it is about the troy war, well the thing is most people can't read it as when you read it you have to sing it in your head, pretty awesome.
I like to read lots of stuff but I never tell anyone what I read and why I read the stuff I do read, I always read lots of things on the web, maybe it is time to tell you all what I read, what I like to do, okay lets start with shows I like to watch Pretty Little Liars, CSI, Criminal minds, South Park, The Simpsons, The Family guy, Nikita, and Gossip girl, but then I like to watch things that educate me in things like natural hazards, politic, historical programs. I know pretty weird. I am reading a book about Adolf Hitler at the moment, it is really good, have learned a lot of new things, I have been reading about the Winter war in Finland too. But when I tend to read stuff on the internet I tend to go and read about space, Politics, Economics, History, and about countries, been reading lots about Mexico and how the narcotic comes in to USA, but also how they kidnap people from US to let them be prostitute, I read things that I think is interesting but most people would feel is boring.
Now to the other thing that I am proud to share with everyone here about myself, I have been through really bad time when I look back at my past, I have been hurt, heart broken, kicked, and all sort of things, but it has made me to who I am today, what I like and mostly to try to close out people from my life that is why I only have so little friends that I trust in, honest to god, I only trust in five people in this world, and that is up to those five people to know, not everyone else, if you think you are one of them you might be that, or you might not be that one.
People always say they know me but I highly doubt that, I do know so many things, seen many things, and mostly I do read a person pretty well. The thing is even if a person have treated you bad, you should always see the best side of that person, and forgive him/her, be the biggest person, I do read the bible yeah, But it has been a good book to read to learn how you should act to another person, if you want everyone to hate you, Start hating everyone! I know even if I see good things in people that has hurt me to the max, they can never take away my dignity by seeing the good thing in them, I mean I have lots of people I should hate, but I don't hate anyone of them. There is only one person of everyone that has treated me bad that I can't see anything good in, as that person is very selfish, just say it like this, that person thinks the world spins around her/him.
Now to the things that matters in my life, that I couldn't survive without, it is my love Michael, I really need him, to be the better person, to be the kind none selfish person as I am right now, I can give advice to people I don't care about and things like that all because he has picked out the soft Johanna that I am.
My cats, I am nuts about them they are my babies, I love them to death, they are giving me so much happiness when I am sad or down, I can always just go to them and give them a huge hug and say I love you and they just hug you back.
I can't live without my annoying family either, they mean so much to me, I do get sick tired of them lots of times but they are those I can go back to if everything fucks up and just be myself.
Now to the thing, Who of you have seen the real Johanna, that cries when she feels sad and lonely? The person that speaks, laugh and sleeps in the same time? The person that says she wants to achieve what she has on her mind? The goofy person as I am, the clumsy?
I know this has been a long arsed blog, but the thing is that the day I was born was the day my death day was written, and until that day has come I want to have achieve lots of things that actually would make my family proud of who I am, when they see me from heaven.
-JO
Wednesday 12 October 2011
Today I am going to write about one thing that actually amazes me a lot is humans, I mean they never tend to change, they are always the same, feeling really sorry for themselves. Is there anyone out there that isn't selfish that doesn't want to be happy and most of all they really don't destroy for someone else?
1
Well now to my big issue in this, I am not saying I am perfect as I am far from it, to be honest when I look close I am more selfish, I admit it. But it is people that pretend to be your friends just because they want something out of you, or something like that. Simple as it is I would never ever be a friend with anyone I don't like, they would never ever get to know anything about me, nothing personal at least. But I would always keep my enemy close, because if I ever need to take that person down I have the information I need!
Well what can you say about humans, they kill each other, they rape others, they steal, they do lots of bad things, have we ever done anything good really? hmm let me think, It was not good to come up with the car, environment aspects, the pc not as we have slowly forget to social with others, you can't just talk via a computer, guns, no as they kill others.. Honest even if I think about one good thing I know I can see the bad thing, we humans aren't that smart, we only care about us selves.
I mean if you are rich, do you give money to someone that is poorer than you, to help that person, even if you have £100 over every month and you can shop and things like that? Most people would not help that poor person as we humans tends to not care about those that has it worse than us. What I want to say we are selfish in one than one way.
Friends is something you really need in your life, even if you are selfish you need someone to be there for you when you are down, and sometime you might need help in your life and then you have your friends there to help you. Even if you/they are poor they would help you in anyway they can. That is what a friend is about not like some are. Just being friend with you, so they can get in to someone else life, as they miss that person, or something silly as they like that person, they are just using you to feel better themselves. I don't like people like that.
The thing is I might seem like a cold person for most people, but the thing is I do respect other people and others feelings, I would always tell one person before everyone else know it just because it is more respectful to that person to hear it from me than anyone else. You really don't need to know things, about me, but most people think I don't care, I would tell some people things before the rest of the world will know.
so let me ask this question? Who would you tell first that you are engaged? and why would you tell that person that? So if I look at myself I would tell one girl first as I think she deserves to know it as one she has feelings for the dude, and it is more respectful she hears it from me than someone else, that will say it complete wrong, I would just say it easy, I am engaged to Michael, I hope you are happy for us :) It is not to make anyone jealous it is about respect. So me being cold is wrong.
The other thing is if she don't want to know it I would respect it, you should always respect the other person you are talking to, no matter who it is, can be a homeless can be a druggie but more or less could be the king. but they all are worth the same in my eye, they are a human being.
The one thing that bugs me is when someone talks about your boyfriend to you, and trying to tell you things they have done, nothing huge nothing small but things like, I thank him for every moment he made me happy, and how he made me feel! Okay why would I know what my boyfriend did to you? but it is the same with Ex's when you meet the new girlfriend and she says he makes me cum every time we have sex. I always think why would I know this? hmm, I mean I left him for my reasons, or he left me for his reasons, but I still don't want to know what happens in his life now, and with my boyfriend I would never ever want to know what he has done with other girls, I know that he have had fun with them, and I know he has been awesome good to them, but please save me from hearing it.
The other thing I don't get why people get guns, to protect themselves? Do they even think that they might kill someone else when they are protecting themselves, I don't think so, I am not against guns or anything like that, but I really don't care, I hope I never have to have a gun to feel safe, and I hope I never get a gun in front of my nose either.
Damn this post might got to long, but I hope that everyone get my point we humans are selfish and we will probably always be that.
We all do mistakes, we're not perfect, we are really just humans, but sometimes we do things right, we save lives, we care about others.
-Jo
1
Well now to my big issue in this, I am not saying I am perfect as I am far from it, to be honest when I look close I am more selfish, I admit it. But it is people that pretend to be your friends just because they want something out of you, or something like that. Simple as it is I would never ever be a friend with anyone I don't like, they would never ever get to know anything about me, nothing personal at least. But I would always keep my enemy close, because if I ever need to take that person down I have the information I need!
Well what can you say about humans, they kill each other, they rape others, they steal, they do lots of bad things, have we ever done anything good really? hmm let me think, It was not good to come up with the car, environment aspects, the pc not as we have slowly forget to social with others, you can't just talk via a computer, guns, no as they kill others.. Honest even if I think about one good thing I know I can see the bad thing, we humans aren't that smart, we only care about us selves.
I mean if you are rich, do you give money to someone that is poorer than you, to help that person, even if you have £100 over every month and you can shop and things like that? Most people would not help that poor person as we humans tends to not care about those that has it worse than us. What I want to say we are selfish in one than one way.
Friends is something you really need in your life, even if you are selfish you need someone to be there for you when you are down, and sometime you might need help in your life and then you have your friends there to help you. Even if you/they are poor they would help you in anyway they can. That is what a friend is about not like some are. Just being friend with you, so they can get in to someone else life, as they miss that person, or something silly as they like that person, they are just using you to feel better themselves. I don't like people like that.
The thing is I might seem like a cold person for most people, but the thing is I do respect other people and others feelings, I would always tell one person before everyone else know it just because it is more respectful to that person to hear it from me than anyone else. You really don't need to know things, about me, but most people think I don't care, I would tell some people things before the rest of the world will know.
so let me ask this question? Who would you tell first that you are engaged? and why would you tell that person that? So if I look at myself I would tell one girl first as I think she deserves to know it as one she has feelings for the dude, and it is more respectful she hears it from me than someone else, that will say it complete wrong, I would just say it easy, I am engaged to Michael, I hope you are happy for us :) It is not to make anyone jealous it is about respect. So me being cold is wrong.
The other thing is if she don't want to know it I would respect it, you should always respect the other person you are talking to, no matter who it is, can be a homeless can be a druggie but more or less could be the king. but they all are worth the same in my eye, they are a human being.
The one thing that bugs me is when someone talks about your boyfriend to you, and trying to tell you things they have done, nothing huge nothing small but things like, I thank him for every moment he made me happy, and how he made me feel! Okay why would I know what my boyfriend did to you? but it is the same with Ex's when you meet the new girlfriend and she says he makes me cum every time we have sex. I always think why would I know this? hmm, I mean I left him for my reasons, or he left me for his reasons, but I still don't want to know what happens in his life now, and with my boyfriend I would never ever want to know what he has done with other girls, I know that he have had fun with them, and I know he has been awesome good to them, but please save me from hearing it.
The other thing I don't get why people get guns, to protect themselves? Do they even think that they might kill someone else when they are protecting themselves, I don't think so, I am not against guns or anything like that, but I really don't care, I hope I never have to have a gun to feel safe, and I hope I never get a gun in front of my nose either.
Damn this post might got to long, but I hope that everyone get my point we humans are selfish and we will probably always be that.
We all do mistakes, we're not perfect, we are really just humans, but sometimes we do things right, we save lives, we care about others.
-Jo
Sunday 9 October 2011
Michael
Now to my post for today, I have been thinking about one thing that actually is hard to talk about and that is love why is love the hardest thing to write about?
I mean I can talk about unhappy love for ages, Jealousy, hate and all those things but when it come to the true love, the love you have for another person.
Now to the thing I love Michael no doubt on that, I love him with every bone I have in my body. I really have never felt as I feel when I am with him. So this post will be about him, my sweetheart Michael Miles that I love more than life.
Let me start what he means to me, as that is probably just one person that knows how much he means to me and that is he and me of course. So now I will put it down in words if you can do that, oh well let me try now, Michael is my inspiration to lots of things, he has made me the person that I am today, trust me he always say I am awesome, and strong but before him I wasn’t that strong. Michael on the other hand is the strongest person alive on this earth and he has been through so many things, in his life. I am amazed that he is still so wonderful to people, he is always so nice to people that needs his help. I know for a fact he would help everyone if he had the chance. He is the most caring person alive.
When you see Michael in real life you see that shy person in the beginning until you get to know him, than he is the most annoying prick you have around you, No I am joking he is the most caring person you will have in the room. He sees when you are down, and he always makes me smile, he just take his arms around me and give me the biggest hug, and says that everything will be fine, even if it is really bad at this moment it will get better. I know he thinks I don’t notice when he gives me the kisses when I sleep, or when he takes of my glasses, honest I do feel them, and all I want is to open my eyes. But I am always too tired to do that, so I just let him show how much he cares about me. The only thing I don’t remember is the sweet words he says when I am sleeping. That is impossible. But I always wake up with a huge smile, and go to bed with a huge smile, all because of him.
When he is sleeping and I am awake, I really just stare at him, he is looking like an angel when he sleeps, and then I give him lots of kisses, and when I give him them he smiles in his sleep, that is the best feeling ever, you really know that he is happy when he start to smile, he even talks in his sleep, that is funny never makes any sense. But it is funny, entertaining.
But the thing he never realize on his own is that he is that wonderful person, he always thinks I am too good for him, that is so far away from the truth, If I have to say that I am too good for him, that would be a complete lie, it is more that he is too good for me, he is an angel that really just know how to make me the stronger person. I know one thing that is that he has me and I will never let him go away from me, he is the best person here, and there is no one that is better than him, no one on this earth can beat him in anything.
The thing is he knows me better than I know myself in so many ways, but that is probably because he is an angel that has al the information of me. There is one thing that I really want to do and that is to make sure that he is as happy as I am always, when he feels down, or sad it breaks my heart, as that means that I can’t hug him when I want. To make him feel better just for a second, one thing I know is that I would want to take all pain he has to myself as he can heal me in two seconds. The pain would be gone than.
Anyway Michael is an inspiration and he should really know that he is that for more people than me, I know that, as he is so nice and so strong, so wonderful. The thing that amazes me is that he has chosen me from all the girls out here in the world.
When I wake up in the morning I always thank god to giving me him the best gift in the world, nothing is better than his love.
Michael Joseph George Miles, I love you with all my bones in my body, there are no time in this life time to show you how much I love you, you are the brightest star in this galaxy, in this universe, there is no flower that beats your handsomeness, there are no sweeter taste than your kisses against my lips, when you hug me, my world stops, because I am in your arms, the arms of my prince. When you look at me I feel like a little girl that is naked, all my feelings are out there for you to pick up. Michael, when you will ask the big question, I will just say yes, because you are my prince charming, and I love you <3
I mean I can talk about unhappy love for ages, Jealousy, hate and all those things but when it come to the true love, the love you have for another person.
Now to the thing I love Michael no doubt on that, I love him with every bone I have in my body. I really have never felt as I feel when I am with him. So this post will be about him, my sweetheart Michael Miles that I love more than life.
Let me start what he means to me, as that is probably just one person that knows how much he means to me and that is he and me of course. So now I will put it down in words if you can do that, oh well let me try now, Michael is my inspiration to lots of things, he has made me the person that I am today, trust me he always say I am awesome, and strong but before him I wasn’t that strong. Michael on the other hand is the strongest person alive on this earth and he has been through so many things, in his life. I am amazed that he is still so wonderful to people, he is always so nice to people that needs his help. I know for a fact he would help everyone if he had the chance. He is the most caring person alive.
When you see Michael in real life you see that shy person in the beginning until you get to know him, than he is the most annoying prick you have around you, No I am joking he is the most caring person you will have in the room. He sees when you are down, and he always makes me smile, he just take his arms around me and give me the biggest hug, and says that everything will be fine, even if it is really bad at this moment it will get better. I know he thinks I don’t notice when he gives me the kisses when I sleep, or when he takes of my glasses, honest I do feel them, and all I want is to open my eyes. But I am always too tired to do that, so I just let him show how much he cares about me. The only thing I don’t remember is the sweet words he says when I am sleeping. That is impossible. But I always wake up with a huge smile, and go to bed with a huge smile, all because of him.
When he is sleeping and I am awake, I really just stare at him, he is looking like an angel when he sleeps, and then I give him lots of kisses, and when I give him them he smiles in his sleep, that is the best feeling ever, you really know that he is happy when he start to smile, he even talks in his sleep, that is funny never makes any sense. But it is funny, entertaining.
But the thing he never realize on his own is that he is that wonderful person, he always thinks I am too good for him, that is so far away from the truth, If I have to say that I am too good for him, that would be a complete lie, it is more that he is too good for me, he is an angel that really just know how to make me the stronger person. I know one thing that is that he has me and I will never let him go away from me, he is the best person here, and there is no one that is better than him, no one on this earth can beat him in anything.
The thing is he knows me better than I know myself in so many ways, but that is probably because he is an angel that has al the information of me. There is one thing that I really want to do and that is to make sure that he is as happy as I am always, when he feels down, or sad it breaks my heart, as that means that I can’t hug him when I want. To make him feel better just for a second, one thing I know is that I would want to take all pain he has to myself as he can heal me in two seconds. The pain would be gone than.
Anyway Michael is an inspiration and he should really know that he is that for more people than me, I know that, as he is so nice and so strong, so wonderful. The thing that amazes me is that he has chosen me from all the girls out here in the world.
When I wake up in the morning I always thank god to giving me him the best gift in the world, nothing is better than his love.
Michael Joseph George Miles, I love you with all my bones in my body, there are no time in this life time to show you how much I love you, you are the brightest star in this galaxy, in this universe, there is no flower that beats your handsomeness, there are no sweeter taste than your kisses against my lips, when you hug me, my world stops, because I am in your arms, the arms of my prince. When you look at me I feel like a little girl that is naked, all my feelings are out there for you to pick up. Michael, when you will ask the big question, I will just say yes, because you are my prince charming, and I love you <3
Saturday 8 October 2011
Jealousy and unhappy love I guess
Today I will write about one thing that actually everyone never really talk about that is jealousy I know, I have write about it before, but let me say this one will be another twist on it.
Now to the thing, I see it so many times, girl and guys that are jealous that someone is in a relationship, because they are unhappy in love with other people. Okay this might be a strange blog post but I feel like I have to tell this to some people around me, and if you feel like it is too you I have write this maybe about you so you will think about it.
Why on earth are you jealous if you like a guy/girl that is in a relationship, trying to get that person to fall in love with you, you always forget others when that person are online, always talking to him/her. I know you want to talk to that person, when it is online, but you can’t just forget about the others, as they will just feel sad and annoyed that you are trying to get someone that is happy in love with someone else.
I don’t think that the person would start to love you, or anything like that, as you have been knowing each other for some time, and if that person haven’t fallen for you in that time he/she will not fall for you now either. The thing is that I think that the person that you love knows it deep down as you are not the same when you love someone, and they really just don’t want to tell you that you don’t have a chance with him/her. I know that because I have one that actually loves me, and when I told him that he had no chance with me, that was the hardest thing I had to do, as I broke that persons heart complete.
The thing is I never get why people tend to forget their friends when they are in love with someone, and when they talk to you they only talk about that person that they love, and how much it bugs them that him/she is so happy in love with someone else. I had one that talked about the person she loved, to me and how he had asked her for help to get another girl, ouch that was probably hard thing for her to hear, but she said to him things that would make the girl not like him, as she loved him. That is so sick but she did it because she was jealous of him being in love with someone else, who would actually do that? That is my thought why would you destroy the person you claim to love?
Okay now to the thing, most people get hurt when they talk to the person that they love, because him/she talks about things that you don’t want to hear about, and it makes you so jealous, but why can’t you forget that person, you know that him/she has another one, and yet you love him/her. You really should move over that person, as one, that person will not love you, even if you hope he/she will love you. Two, you are getting sad because of that person and the fact that you aren’t with him/her. And the last thing, you might destroy your friendship in the end, and is that worth it?
I know that it is not easy to forget someone you love, trust me I have seen one girl that is still in love with a boy that is planning to get married with someone else, and all she wants is to talk to that boy, but the boy isn’t that happy to talk to that person. You can try as much as you want to talk to him, but he will not talk to you, as he doesn’t like you as a person I guess. The thing is that you just make yourself silly by trying to talk to him, I mean he don’t even see you when you are online? When you are in front of him, honest why would you even sink so low that you want to make you seen for him?
I know people think I am cruel that tells this to my friend, but I got told that I had to forget one person and move on the best thing that happen to me, as I did move on and I found someone else in the end.
I don’t want my friends to be sad, and honest they are sad and jealous when it comes to the boys/girls that they love that doesn’t love them. All I want is for them to be happy as I am but that will not happen as long they are unhappy in love and jealous.
Now to the thing, I see it so many times, girl and guys that are jealous that someone is in a relationship, because they are unhappy in love with other people. Okay this might be a strange blog post but I feel like I have to tell this to some people around me, and if you feel like it is too you I have write this maybe about you so you will think about it.
Why on earth are you jealous if you like a guy/girl that is in a relationship, trying to get that person to fall in love with you, you always forget others when that person are online, always talking to him/her. I know you want to talk to that person, when it is online, but you can’t just forget about the others, as they will just feel sad and annoyed that you are trying to get someone that is happy in love with someone else.
I don’t think that the person would start to love you, or anything like that, as you have been knowing each other for some time, and if that person haven’t fallen for you in that time he/she will not fall for you now either. The thing is that I think that the person that you love knows it deep down as you are not the same when you love someone, and they really just don’t want to tell you that you don’t have a chance with him/her. I know that because I have one that actually loves me, and when I told him that he had no chance with me, that was the hardest thing I had to do, as I broke that persons heart complete.
The thing is I never get why people tend to forget their friends when they are in love with someone, and when they talk to you they only talk about that person that they love, and how much it bugs them that him/she is so happy in love with someone else. I had one that talked about the person she loved, to me and how he had asked her for help to get another girl, ouch that was probably hard thing for her to hear, but she said to him things that would make the girl not like him, as she loved him. That is so sick but she did it because she was jealous of him being in love with someone else, who would actually do that? That is my thought why would you destroy the person you claim to love?
Okay now to the thing, most people get hurt when they talk to the person that they love, because him/she talks about things that you don’t want to hear about, and it makes you so jealous, but why can’t you forget that person, you know that him/she has another one, and yet you love him/her. You really should move over that person, as one, that person will not love you, even if you hope he/she will love you. Two, you are getting sad because of that person and the fact that you aren’t with him/her. And the last thing, you might destroy your friendship in the end, and is that worth it?
I know that it is not easy to forget someone you love, trust me I have seen one girl that is still in love with a boy that is planning to get married with someone else, and all she wants is to talk to that boy, but the boy isn’t that happy to talk to that person. You can try as much as you want to talk to him, but he will not talk to you, as he doesn’t like you as a person I guess. The thing is that you just make yourself silly by trying to talk to him, I mean he don’t even see you when you are online? When you are in front of him, honest why would you even sink so low that you want to make you seen for him?
I know people think I am cruel that tells this to my friend, but I got told that I had to forget one person and move on the best thing that happen to me, as I did move on and I found someone else in the end.
I don’t want my friends to be sad, and honest they are sad and jealous when it comes to the boys/girls that they love that doesn’t love them. All I want is for them to be happy as I am but that will not happen as long they are unhappy in love and jealous.
Thursday 6 October 2011
Heartbroken, everyone has had it and will always feel it somehow
Today I will talk about something we all have been heartbroken, I mean everyone or most of us have been that, I have been it and that was the most painful thing I ever had gone through, I know that the thing is that if I get it again, as I felt that time I don’t want ever feel it again, Never ever again.
So better to say this now I am human I wish I wasn’t human sometimes as the feelings are so bad sometimes, but sometimes they are so good. You can be heartbroken for lots of things, and I am going to talk about what has been heartbroken for me, so If you want to share what has been for you please share it here, as a comment too.
Now to the thing that really is one of the things that I am actually still am heartbroken for is that my heart is as it is, I wish every single day that I was normal, without a bad heart. People always say to me, you are always so happy, so healthy, but they have no clue how I really feel, I can smile even when I am in pain, I have actually taught myself to hide the real pain, that I feel every single moment when I am awake, all I want to do is lay down and cry because of my heart, that has only been so my whole life. I hate to have a bad heart, how would you feel that you can’t train anymore when you are use to do it every single day? The thing that is most heartbroken about this is that people always have called me a freak, because they knew that I have done a heart operation, so yeah this is heartbreaking for me, as I am always ill, never fine. You don’t get it if you don’t have any illness.
The other thing that has made me complete heartbroken was when my granddad died, from his lung cancer, when they discover that he had it was the day that I died a little bit inside, as I knew that he wouldn’t survive that long, I hoped that he would make it, but with my luck as he was the person that stood me closest to me. Now to the thing, a little story behind this, I was there that Christmas, the tsunami was the same year, I remember everything like yesterday but mostly because my dear granddad was so ill, the 27 December 2004 the day he got to know he had cancer, he did everything he should do but the cancer killed him in the end, 18th October 2005 that was the day that I died inside, really died. Even if I tried to get to him, I couldn’t as he wasn’t here, I don’t even know how I have been able to survive that heart break I had when he died, without a joke this is probably the hardest thing that has ever happen to me, when he passed away, I really can say that I wouldn’t care so much if some people die that are around me, as they don’t mean that much to me, but my grandpa was my sweet angel, that I looked up to, he was one of the few I actually cared about. And still do care about even if he isn’t here with me, but I still miss him and I will always miss him.
The third heartbreak I have had was actually one thing that made me more human, well I realized that I was a person with true feeling, with feelings I never thought I would survive, that was being in love with a person, that actually choose someone else over me, that day I can still remember what we talk about, and things like that, I know it is a bad memory, but let me say this. When that person told me that he thought he loved someone else, two hours after telling me that he loved me, was probably the worst moment in my life when it come to experience love. I mean I trusted that person, and I still trust in that person and he complete made a fool of me, or that was how I felt about this, I actually hide, for two weeks I think, I wasn’t online anywhere well I was but then I saw that that girl was online and I remember how heartbroken I was, she was so happy to have him and I was crying, and felt so lonely, so hated, it felt like I was totally alone here in the world, no one to talk to, I was on skype but on offline mode, same with msn, and I only went to see my facebook one time a day, so I didn’t have to see her, that girl that he choose over me, I know that I was really bad, but the thing is that I started to hang with people that was in my past, just because they were at least there for me or I thought they were.
People don’t know how heartbroken I really was, but the thing is that every heart break has made me stronger in so many other ways, now I know what I want with people close to me, trust me when I say this, no boy are worth your tears, I cried for almost two weeks for this boy, but somehow life has their surprises, and they are good.
I dream about my granddad lots, how we use to go on the boat on the lake, how he gave me sweets in the car, how I hugged him, how I went to bed when he woke up, but the best time was probably when you woke up early and could see the sun go up, and when you where watching the news with him.
I have found love in one awesome person that never would hurt me like that person that broke my heart, and I have grown as a person, when I am with Michael I feel like I can be anything I want to be. He always makes me smile when I am sad.
Now to the heart thing, I know I can never change that, but I can help others that have the same problem, with an illness, as I know that you are special no matter what, you have. I have been taught that life might be short or long, and when you are alive you really have to make the best of it.
And now to the thing, there is lots of heartbreaking, love, losing someone, getting an illness, even to be alone might be a heartbreaking thing, so please don't judge the people that are heartbroken as you have probably also felt it, and sometime you will feel it too. So think what you want people to say to you when you are down.
-Johanna
So better to say this now I am human I wish I wasn’t human sometimes as the feelings are so bad sometimes, but sometimes they are so good. You can be heartbroken for lots of things, and I am going to talk about what has been heartbroken for me, so If you want to share what has been for you please share it here, as a comment too.
Now to the thing that really is one of the things that I am actually still am heartbroken for is that my heart is as it is, I wish every single day that I was normal, without a bad heart. People always say to me, you are always so happy, so healthy, but they have no clue how I really feel, I can smile even when I am in pain, I have actually taught myself to hide the real pain, that I feel every single moment when I am awake, all I want to do is lay down and cry because of my heart, that has only been so my whole life. I hate to have a bad heart, how would you feel that you can’t train anymore when you are use to do it every single day? The thing that is most heartbroken about this is that people always have called me a freak, because they knew that I have done a heart operation, so yeah this is heartbreaking for me, as I am always ill, never fine. You don’t get it if you don’t have any illness.
The other thing that has made me complete heartbroken was when my granddad died, from his lung cancer, when they discover that he had it was the day that I died a little bit inside, as I knew that he wouldn’t survive that long, I hoped that he would make it, but with my luck as he was the person that stood me closest to me. Now to the thing, a little story behind this, I was there that Christmas, the tsunami was the same year, I remember everything like yesterday but mostly because my dear granddad was so ill, the 27 December 2004 the day he got to know he had cancer, he did everything he should do but the cancer killed him in the end, 18th October 2005 that was the day that I died inside, really died. Even if I tried to get to him, I couldn’t as he wasn’t here, I don’t even know how I have been able to survive that heart break I had when he died, without a joke this is probably the hardest thing that has ever happen to me, when he passed away, I really can say that I wouldn’t care so much if some people die that are around me, as they don’t mean that much to me, but my grandpa was my sweet angel, that I looked up to, he was one of the few I actually cared about. And still do care about even if he isn’t here with me, but I still miss him and I will always miss him.
The third heartbreak I have had was actually one thing that made me more human, well I realized that I was a person with true feeling, with feelings I never thought I would survive, that was being in love with a person, that actually choose someone else over me, that day I can still remember what we talk about, and things like that, I know it is a bad memory, but let me say this. When that person told me that he thought he loved someone else, two hours after telling me that he loved me, was probably the worst moment in my life when it come to experience love. I mean I trusted that person, and I still trust in that person and he complete made a fool of me, or that was how I felt about this, I actually hide, for two weeks I think, I wasn’t online anywhere well I was but then I saw that that girl was online and I remember how heartbroken I was, she was so happy to have him and I was crying, and felt so lonely, so hated, it felt like I was totally alone here in the world, no one to talk to, I was on skype but on offline mode, same with msn, and I only went to see my facebook one time a day, so I didn’t have to see her, that girl that he choose over me, I know that I was really bad, but the thing is that I started to hang with people that was in my past, just because they were at least there for me or I thought they were.
People don’t know how heartbroken I really was, but the thing is that every heart break has made me stronger in so many other ways, now I know what I want with people close to me, trust me when I say this, no boy are worth your tears, I cried for almost two weeks for this boy, but somehow life has their surprises, and they are good.
I dream about my granddad lots, how we use to go on the boat on the lake, how he gave me sweets in the car, how I hugged him, how I went to bed when he woke up, but the best time was probably when you woke up early and could see the sun go up, and when you where watching the news with him.
I have found love in one awesome person that never would hurt me like that person that broke my heart, and I have grown as a person, when I am with Michael I feel like I can be anything I want to be. He always makes me smile when I am sad.
Now to the heart thing, I know I can never change that, but I can help others that have the same problem, with an illness, as I know that you are special no matter what, you have. I have been taught that life might be short or long, and when you are alive you really have to make the best of it.
And now to the thing, there is lots of heartbreaking, love, losing someone, getting an illness, even to be alone might be a heartbreaking thing, so please don't judge the people that are heartbroken as you have probably also felt it, and sometime you will feel it too. So think what you want people to say to you when you are down.
-Johanna
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Love, unhappy love, respecting people and more or less bitches..
Okay today I will write about something that actually amazes me that is people that are in love with people that actually are in a relationship.
Let me start by saying both girls and lads don’t respect a person that is in a relationship when they are single themselves. There are bitches everywhere and now I mean in the bad way. I mean if you are single why the hell you would love someone that is in a relationship, for the first the person are happy with the person they are with. If they aren’t that they would be single.
Now to myself did I respect that someone was interested in more than one person, you can probably say no to that and yes. I know that I wanted him, and he was single so I did my best to show my best sides, and trust me that was a good thing because in the end I got what I wanted, and that is him. Well if you ask him about the respect thing I know he would say that I did respect what he wanted, as all I ever wanted was for him to be happy, and honest to god even if that wouldn’t have been with someone else I would have been really happy for him, but I would have hated the girl more than anything else. I know that it doesn’t make any sense as I would have been happy for him, but not for her, but honest as long as the person I love and like is happy I am more than happy. But I have him, and he is happy with me and I am so damn happy with him, more than I ever thought I would be. I know that things didn’t start in the best way, was much drama and that, but the thing was that we took the time to get to know each other and we got a friendship that nothing can destroy that is one thing I can tell everyone.
Anyway now back to the part I actually was going to talk about jeez how my thoughts have been occupied, that I have forgot that people never respect the other one feelings. I mean for fuck sake why the hell do you want to have someone that is happy, or that, or do you just want to make someone else so sad that you can be happy?
I can answer only on myself here, but I want happiness yeah I do, as everyone else want, but I would never want anyone to be unhappy because I steal that persons boyfriend, that is even to low for me. I can tell you that you will not be happy if you steal a person from another person as you would always think about that person you actually hurt. This is what I think but I can’t be sure that you have the same opinion as me on this as it is a huge subject
But there is one thing I know that is that people should respect other people, they should think in to themselves, how YOU would feel if I was after your boyfriend, or some boy that is after your girlfriend. I mean come on why would you want to be unhappy in love with someone that is taken by someone else? I have asked myself this so many times when I was unhappy I know it’s not easy to be that person that is unhappy in love. It is not easy to be in love you don’t know what you will do and things like that, but are you sure that you want to destroy the relationship that your love has, as one that can end really badly in the end.
Let’s say that you actually succeed to destroy the relationship he/she has with someone and they break up and stop talking to each other, that person might start hating you slowly because he lose his love, but mostly because you have probably lied about everything. I mean what can you say, something like Eh your boyfriend had a sexchat with me, I know if my boyfriend has that with anyone I would die inside, and slowly start to fade away, but the good thing is that I know he wouldn’t do that. Or even worse lie that he says that he loves you, oh my god how low would you do to make yourself happy? Why not just respect that he is happy with someone else?
Now to the ending, I know I am not perfect, I know I get called a boyfriend stealer, and all sort of things, but to be together you actually have to meet each other, and guess what I went to see Michael and that was the best thing I ever have done in my life, but I never stole him from anyone, we actually fall for each other, and that was something we both did, and I would want everyone that loves him stop loving him, but honest I would not be surprised if you love him, because I know how wonderful he is.
Now to the boys that claim to love me, honest do you think you can get me? Honest really? I am just going to say one thing, move on. As I have only my eyes for Michael, and I will always only have my eyes for him. He is the one, the person I want to share every single moment with and it kills me when I am not with him. So you better move on otherwise I will just hurt you by saying FUCK OFF
As I have said before the bitches are everywhere, just don't care about their lies and you will be okay in the end..
- Jooo
Let me start by saying both girls and lads don’t respect a person that is in a relationship when they are single themselves. There are bitches everywhere and now I mean in the bad way. I mean if you are single why the hell you would love someone that is in a relationship, for the first the person are happy with the person they are with. If they aren’t that they would be single.
Now to myself did I respect that someone was interested in more than one person, you can probably say no to that and yes. I know that I wanted him, and he was single so I did my best to show my best sides, and trust me that was a good thing because in the end I got what I wanted, and that is him. Well if you ask him about the respect thing I know he would say that I did respect what he wanted, as all I ever wanted was for him to be happy, and honest to god even if that wouldn’t have been with someone else I would have been really happy for him, but I would have hated the girl more than anything else. I know that it doesn’t make any sense as I would have been happy for him, but not for her, but honest as long as the person I love and like is happy I am more than happy. But I have him, and he is happy with me and I am so damn happy with him, more than I ever thought I would be. I know that things didn’t start in the best way, was much drama and that, but the thing was that we took the time to get to know each other and we got a friendship that nothing can destroy that is one thing I can tell everyone.
Anyway now back to the part I actually was going to talk about jeez how my thoughts have been occupied, that I have forgot that people never respect the other one feelings. I mean for fuck sake why the hell do you want to have someone that is happy, or that, or do you just want to make someone else so sad that you can be happy?
I can answer only on myself here, but I want happiness yeah I do, as everyone else want, but I would never want anyone to be unhappy because I steal that persons boyfriend, that is even to low for me. I can tell you that you will not be happy if you steal a person from another person as you would always think about that person you actually hurt. This is what I think but I can’t be sure that you have the same opinion as me on this as it is a huge subject
But there is one thing I know that is that people should respect other people, they should think in to themselves, how YOU would feel if I was after your boyfriend, or some boy that is after your girlfriend. I mean come on why would you want to be unhappy in love with someone that is taken by someone else? I have asked myself this so many times when I was unhappy I know it’s not easy to be that person that is unhappy in love. It is not easy to be in love you don’t know what you will do and things like that, but are you sure that you want to destroy the relationship that your love has, as one that can end really badly in the end.
Let’s say that you actually succeed to destroy the relationship he/she has with someone and they break up and stop talking to each other, that person might start hating you slowly because he lose his love, but mostly because you have probably lied about everything. I mean what can you say, something like Eh your boyfriend had a sexchat with me, I know if my boyfriend has that with anyone I would die inside, and slowly start to fade away, but the good thing is that I know he wouldn’t do that. Or even worse lie that he says that he loves you, oh my god how low would you do to make yourself happy? Why not just respect that he is happy with someone else?
Now to the ending, I know I am not perfect, I know I get called a boyfriend stealer, and all sort of things, but to be together you actually have to meet each other, and guess what I went to see Michael and that was the best thing I ever have done in my life, but I never stole him from anyone, we actually fall for each other, and that was something we both did, and I would want everyone that loves him stop loving him, but honest I would not be surprised if you love him, because I know how wonderful he is.
Now to the boys that claim to love me, honest do you think you can get me? Honest really? I am just going to say one thing, move on. As I have only my eyes for Michael, and I will always only have my eyes for him. He is the one, the person I want to share every single moment with and it kills me when I am not with him. So you better move on otherwise I will just hurt you by saying FUCK OFF
As I have said before the bitches are everywhere, just don't care about their lies and you will be okay in the end..
- Jooo
Tuesday 4 October 2011
Annoying people!
I really don’t know why people always tend to get in my way, or annoy me, well now to the things that actually bug me more than anything. Competing friends, family and things like that. Or even worse friends that pretends to be your happy friend when they aren’t. Now back to my moaning about this
I mean why do friends and family have to compete if you tell them that you are for once thinking about marriage, children and things like that some people around me gets so competing and has to beat me, come on why would you want to rush in a thing you don’t have thought about I mean I have thought about my choice and what I want, now why would you want to beat me? I don’t get it; I am just a girl that actually thinks lots before I do anything.
Yes sometimes I actually think more than do things, I mean when I was a kid, I thought about taking a tattoo, but then everyone and I mean it everyone had taken one, just to beat me, if I say I would get married tomorrow, or engaged a date they all would beat me, but you know what is the best I think I know when I am getting engaged, but with Michael you never know he might do it before Christmas, or even after Christmas, but there is one thing I know with him and that is that he will make it romantic and no one can beat him with that.
Then the other thing how can you compete with a person, I mean I’ve my own feelings of what is better and worse, and if you say your wedding is the best (of course you would say that otherwise you are stupid) just because you have spend more money than me? Then I would ask you did you just have a wedding to show of people, what a nice dress you had, the cake and all the other things, or did you get married for the right choice by celebrating the love you have between you two? I know what I want when I get married and, that is a small wedding with the close family and the best man and the bridesmaid, I really don’t want a big wedding, the smaller the better. My ideal is just to have two witnesses and get married in the court house; yeah I don’t want to be that person that shows off how nice dress I have and things like that.
Now to the other part that I actually hate more than competing friends and family, that is those friends that actually pretends to be happy for you. Okay if you get hurt that I am happy with my boyfriend, and that I am serious, is that because you are jealous of me being happy, or is it because you have feelings for me or my boyfriend. I mean come on if you say congratulations to me because I might get engaged around Christmas, or New Years Eve, than you are telling others that your life is destroyed because I am happy? I don’t get it okay you might be more blonder than I thought in the beginning!
Well the thing is if you don’t mean it from your heart don’t say it, as I get so damn annoyed when you just pretend to be my friend, than you stab me in the back and pretend being happy, but you have a back though about it, maybe you are trying to break me and him apart but that will not succeed. I can tell you everyone why that will not work
1. I love Michael with all my heart, and I am blessed that he loves me in the same way.
2. If you are trying to destroy you will lose my friendship forever, and I guess my boyfriend would get annoyed too
3. I feel complete with Michael
4. There is more reasons I will never tell you about
Anyway I am sick that people are competing people, and false friends, the thing is that you all think you are my friend but in the end we aren’t friend as you aren’t happy for me and that will never change as you aren’t willing to forget me. This goes even out to people that loves Michael, you aren’t a friend of mine, when you love my boyfriend, well some might be a friend, but you know what, I know that he will never look at you or anyone else, he is mine and I tend to keep him forever, am I selfish, Yeah, but I am that for a good reason, he makes me so happy and makes me feel like life is worthy living even when you have it really bad.
I love you Michael, and one day we will be a happy family, and we will enjoy every single day together.
I mean why do friends and family have to compete if you tell them that you are for once thinking about marriage, children and things like that some people around me gets so competing and has to beat me, come on why would you want to rush in a thing you don’t have thought about I mean I have thought about my choice and what I want, now why would you want to beat me? I don’t get it; I am just a girl that actually thinks lots before I do anything.
Yes sometimes I actually think more than do things, I mean when I was a kid, I thought about taking a tattoo, but then everyone and I mean it everyone had taken one, just to beat me, if I say I would get married tomorrow, or engaged a date they all would beat me, but you know what is the best I think I know when I am getting engaged, but with Michael you never know he might do it before Christmas, or even after Christmas, but there is one thing I know with him and that is that he will make it romantic and no one can beat him with that.
Then the other thing how can you compete with a person, I mean I’ve my own feelings of what is better and worse, and if you say your wedding is the best (of course you would say that otherwise you are stupid) just because you have spend more money than me? Then I would ask you did you just have a wedding to show of people, what a nice dress you had, the cake and all the other things, or did you get married for the right choice by celebrating the love you have between you two? I know what I want when I get married and, that is a small wedding with the close family and the best man and the bridesmaid, I really don’t want a big wedding, the smaller the better. My ideal is just to have two witnesses and get married in the court house; yeah I don’t want to be that person that shows off how nice dress I have and things like that.
Now to the other part that I actually hate more than competing friends and family, that is those friends that actually pretends to be happy for you. Okay if you get hurt that I am happy with my boyfriend, and that I am serious, is that because you are jealous of me being happy, or is it because you have feelings for me or my boyfriend. I mean come on if you say congratulations to me because I might get engaged around Christmas, or New Years Eve, than you are telling others that your life is destroyed because I am happy? I don’t get it okay you might be more blonder than I thought in the beginning!
Well the thing is if you don’t mean it from your heart don’t say it, as I get so damn annoyed when you just pretend to be my friend, than you stab me in the back and pretend being happy, but you have a back though about it, maybe you are trying to break me and him apart but that will not succeed. I can tell you everyone why that will not work
1. I love Michael with all my heart, and I am blessed that he loves me in the same way.
2. If you are trying to destroy you will lose my friendship forever, and I guess my boyfriend would get annoyed too
3. I feel complete with Michael
4. There is more reasons I will never tell you about
Anyway I am sick that people are competing people, and false friends, the thing is that you all think you are my friend but in the end we aren’t friend as you aren’t happy for me and that will never change as you aren’t willing to forget me. This goes even out to people that loves Michael, you aren’t a friend of mine, when you love my boyfriend, well some might be a friend, but you know what, I know that he will never look at you or anyone else, he is mine and I tend to keep him forever, am I selfish, Yeah, but I am that for a good reason, he makes me so happy and makes me feel like life is worthy living even when you have it really bad.
I love you Michael, and one day we will be a happy family, and we will enjoy every single day together.
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