unsure

Today I am going to talk about something that actually scares me more than anything I am soon 27 years old I know I feel so damn old, and honestly what have I done with my life, what have I become. I ended high school like 12 years ago and still I haven’t become what I mostly want to become. Damn I feel like I have failed in everything.

I failed when I gave up my swimming, I failed when I turned down law school, what more can I say really the thing is that I am more and more confused what I want to be.

I know people always tell me what I should become but what if I don’t want to be that, what if I fail by trying, the thing is that you have to try to know if you will fail or not. I know everything, but the thing is that I don’t know what I want with my life anymore more than one thing and that is pretty much what I am looking forward to and that is to start a own family, with my husband to come (Michael) and get kids.

I don’t really think anyone has figure out how much I am thinking about stuff I am trying to talk to people but they never tend to get it when you really need them to get things, I have been asking my mates what they think I will be good at and all they say is to being home and take care of my kids, they never say any good things, always making fun of me in some way.

The thing is that I am scared what will happen with me I don’t feel so good anymore that I used to feel some months ago I feel strangely tired most of the times lately, like I don’t have any energy or what so ever, I sleep like 10-13 hours every night and still I feel so damn tired that I need to take 1-2 hours nap on the days than go to bed really early, what the hell is wrong with me? I was in the doctors today and all they said was that I have to call them back if I am still tired like I am now in 4 weeks or so. Really I have been thinking what if I am well let’s not talk about that. 

Well maybe it is the age that has come up to me, that I am getting older and more tired no idea, well might be something else or not don’t really know. Anyway still going to think what I can become, as I have to figure out that as soon as possible.

Love you all!

-Jo