Well today I will write about a post about one thing that is really close to me and my thoughts about it, I know there will be few that knows that I am talking about them and some will feel maybe I wasn’t one of them that got happy.
Let me see how I can start with this, it actually felt that more people were happy when Michael and I were not friends anymore. I don’t really get why people were happy when me and him weren’t friends, they all made sure to tell me what I missed on his page, to make me miss him even more, people probably wanted me to feel even more shite than I already did, or they never realise how hurt I really was.
How it felt to lose someone that you thought was your friend and it turned out that he wasn’t the person you thought he was. I felt like the biggest idiot alive, and people were so mean to me, really there was only one or two that never said anything about Michael to me, they tried their best to help me feel complete again, but I never felt it, I was alone and I felt so alone in the darkness I was in.
Hours felt like years, minutes like months, seconds like days, how did you think I felt when you all told me when he wrote I love you on someone else page, when I never could see it, and then you print screen it to me so I could see it.
But the thing is that I got stronger with this thing, Michael and I started slowly to talk again, without anyone knowing, I remember one thing I asked him, if a wall post was right and he told me, no that is not right, and those people that are telling you what I am doing are not nice to you, even if we wasn’t that close at that point, Michael always took care of me.
Put than when things got really serious between me and Michael, there was only some people that was happy about it, some people even told me that I would go to hell, and burn, and lose lots of friends because I apparently stole him from someone, honest I don’t care if you say that I stole him, I never stole him. He knew that I was in love with him, I never hide that from him, and he said that he always saw that I loved him, but I did my best to be happy for him.
All I can remember is that it was honestly just three people that were happy that me and him was together, and that was my little sister, she said I deserved to be happy for once, she had never seen me so happy and she would probably kill everyone if she knew how hard I had it that summer and that year because what you don’t know it is that the stress you all put me through by hating and making sure to destroy me was one of the reason I almost died.
The thing is that I always tell people that they don’t know how it is to be me. It is hard because I can’t handle too much stress, but you all made me stronger, so today I would survive anything thrown at me. Anyway, the thing is that my so called friends weren’t happy for me, when Michael and I got together I lost everyone it seems, well I never lost Katie, one girl from London, she was my biggest helping friend during that time, and Michael he was the true angel, because we did talk out about everything that had happen, so I know what people had said but then I told him everything I knew and had heard.
For once we actually cleared all the air and started on a fresh page, that was the reason we did fall for each other I think, well I know the true reason why Michael realised he loved me, it was because I will tell you all and with this happy memory I will end this post.
We cammed on msn, and I was looking after my parents house, and Chanel had kittens and I was showing him them. I had my sisters lap top so I could be in bed, bad choice when I think about it, I was so tired but I never told him that I was tired, I had a really nice pillow, a blue one, a good bed, and was so happy because it had been a good day. Anyway, we cammed for around 15 minutes and I was showing him things around the room I was in and then I put my head on the pillow and slowly I started to fall asleep and, without realising it, I was sleeping and the cam was still on, and I know that Michael watched me for some minutes while I was drooling on my lovely pillow, probably sleeping like an angel, but the thing was that the message he left me on that day in July at the end of the month was the sweetest messages I had ever seen in my life. He told me how I was the most beautiful princess that he ever had seen and I looked like an angel.
xoxo Johanna
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