Today I am actually gonna talk about one thing that actually means something to me, myself I know you all think you fucking know me, but do you know me? Not really so here is the truth about Johanna Maria.
Now where can I actually start with myself I was born on a Saturday, it was 4 pm when I decided to come in to this world, and see the day light, it was snowing, a really bad snow weather according to my parents don't remember anything at all to be fair. It was 15th of December, I think I decided to come out to sleep my first Christmas.
Well I was a normal kid when I was young, well lets not say that, but I did like to climb on things and I was pretty much wildish of me, I do remember one thing, I was with a cousin, well the thing was that we played it was a boy cousin of course, so we decided to climb on the bookshelf was pretty much a bad idea, as it fell down on both of us, but the funny thing we didn't get hurt or anything like that, we laughed like two small kids. This can have been when I was under 5 years old. I loved to play with guns, and things like that, not so much with dolls and that, but the thing I did love to play with was my doll house, but not that much, I have always loved to play in the forest, hide and seek, catch things like that.
The biggest change in my life came when I was 5 years old well almost as I did my heart operation, the things I do remember from that time, is something I really don't wish for anyone else to remember, waking up during an operation, having pain when you try to walk, mostly painful memories, but the thing is that I loved my heart doctor he was a brilliant man, always made me think different about what I had and have. He also said to me that I should prepare for another operation, as my heart somehow leaks still, though it do it with most people, but not that much as I have.
Well the worst thing that happen to me was moving to Skepplanda, people here have never liked me, so they have always been bulling me about things, when we had PE they always said I was Frankenstein bride as I have my operation scarf, my last name, where I am from things like that. I really don't like the people here, they are all the same, backstabbing bitches that never can be trusted.
When I think back on things I am not bad at doing things, was good in swimming, was good in PE was actually really good at lots of stuff, like Math, Politics, Social studies, history, Physics and things like that, as I never had anything to do I read stuff that most people wouldn't have been reading before they where 15 years old, I have to say one of the best books I have read is Iliad by Homeros, it is about the troy war, well the thing is most people can't read it as when you read it you have to sing it in your head, pretty awesome.
I like to read lots of stuff but I never tell anyone what I read and why I read the stuff I do read, I always read lots of things on the web, maybe it is time to tell you all what I read, what I like to do, okay lets start with shows I like to watch Pretty Little Liars, CSI, Criminal minds, South Park, The Simpsons, The Family guy, Nikita, and Gossip girl, but then I like to watch things that educate me in things like natural hazards, politic, historical programs. I know pretty weird. I am reading a book about Adolf Hitler at the moment, it is really good, have learned a lot of new things, I have been reading about the Winter war in Finland too. But when I tend to read stuff on the internet I tend to go and read about space, Politics, Economics, History, and about countries, been reading lots about Mexico and how the narcotic comes in to USA, but also how they kidnap people from US to let them be prostitute, I read things that I think is interesting but most people would feel is boring.
Now to the other thing that I am proud to share with everyone here about myself, I have been through really bad time when I look back at my past, I have been hurt, heart broken, kicked, and all sort of things, but it has made me to who I am today, what I like and mostly to try to close out people from my life that is why I only have so little friends that I trust in, honest to god, I only trust in five people in this world, and that is up to those five people to know, not everyone else, if you think you are one of them you might be that, or you might not be that one.
People always say they know me but I highly doubt that, I do know so many things, seen many things, and mostly I do read a person pretty well. The thing is even if a person have treated you bad, you should always see the best side of that person, and forgive him/her, be the biggest person, I do read the bible yeah, But it has been a good book to read to learn how you should act to another person, if you want everyone to hate you, Start hating everyone! I know even if I see good things in people that has hurt me to the max, they can never take away my dignity by seeing the good thing in them, I mean I have lots of people I should hate, but I don't hate anyone of them. There is only one person of everyone that has treated me bad that I can't see anything good in, as that person is very selfish, just say it like this, that person thinks the world spins around her/him.
Now to the things that matters in my life, that I couldn't survive without, it is my love Michael, I really need him, to be the better person, to be the kind none selfish person as I am right now, I can give advice to people I don't care about and things like that all because he has picked out the soft Johanna that I am.
My cats, I am nuts about them they are my babies, I love them to death, they are giving me so much happiness when I am sad or down, I can always just go to them and give them a huge hug and say I love you and they just hug you back.
I can't live without my annoying family either, they mean so much to me, I do get sick tired of them lots of times but they are those I can go back to if everything fucks up and just be myself.
Now to the thing, Who of you have seen the real Johanna, that cries when she feels sad and lonely? The person that speaks, laugh and sleeps in the same time? The person that says she wants to achieve what she has on her mind? The goofy person as I am, the clumsy?
I know this has been a long arsed blog, but the thing is that the day I was born was the day my death day was written, and until that day has come I want to have achieve lots of things that actually would make my family proud of who I am, when they see me from heaven.
-JO
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