No name

Well lets talk about something that really annoys me, I mean you can do lots of things but than you don't get respond or things like that.

Let me take one thing that has happen to me many times it is when you are arguing with someone, trust me, I get pissed really easy not good I know. But it is when the other person always is trying to get the last word, or saying when you are angry that you almost boil it is when the other person say Jo, you are so wrong here, at least you should calm down and confess that! Trust me that annoys me even more and as I am angry I will just continue and get more angry at the person as I am arguing with, and I say things that I don't really mean but they come out so badly sometimes. Have that happen to you?

The other thing that bothers me is when people say they know me, trust me you don't know me anymore you did before. I have changed a lot the past five years in thoughts and everything. I know I have always said I want to get engaged and get married after six months of the engagement but today I wouldn't care if it is one months to five years until I get married.

The one thing that is really funny about some of my friends it is when they tell me I know what you are thinking and what you are going through. This one is my favorite part as no one else than myself can know what I am thinking about and how I feel about things. I mean I was really sad for one thing but people thought I was happy, as I never wanted to say that I was sad, and I can really hide what I am feeling as I don't always want to share my thoughts and that with my friends and family.

My friends don't like when I get sad as I don't talk why I am sad, but mostly it is because I miss my grandpa so much I know he has been gone for a long time, but what people don't understand it is that he was my everything, he was probably the one that I loved the most in my whole family. After my baby cat Molle that is sadly gone too :< But honest I can't stop crying when I think about it, or get sad, I know for a fact he will never ever be able to see me get married, have kids, but mostly I can never hug him and I am so happy I hugged him the last time I did, because I never use to hug them other wise but I hugged him and said I love you Grandpa, and when he was in the hospital I had to do the worst call ever to him because I knew he only had days to live.

I called him with tears in my voice and trust me I remember the whole talk: Granpa, I hope you are okay atleast, and he answer with huge pains in his voice yes I am okay Johanna. Then I continued to talk abit about a memory I don't want to share here, and he laughed but then I heard how he got really tired and the last words I said to him was I love you, Remember that, and what he said back will always haunt me. I see you next summer Johanna bye. He knew as much as we others that he wouldn't be around next summer but at least I was able to say I love you Grandpa at least he knew that :)


Why is my friends so damn mean when it comes to him, maybe because he has been gone for so long.


And why is there so many that always want the last word?


I know that I have done many things wrong, but when I do the right thing, there is always people that will be the idiot and ignore what you say to them, even if you mean it from the deepest of your heart!


I am sorry if I have hurt anyone; I am sorry If I am happy, but mostly I feel sorry for you not letting things go away, Be happy and live your life. Be in love be friendly! I am happy and I am in love and that is something that isn't gonna change in years :)


So with this words I want to end this post :


Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. -Sri Chinmoy

Jo