My talk to my blog :)

I really just want to speak to someone so I will speak to my own blog, because mostly it will not say to me that I am silly, idiot or something else mean things it will just listen to me. That is all I want for now

People seems to dislike me and it is really making me think what have I done that is so terrible that they dislike me, or even don’t like me as a human, all I ever try to do is to be honest and live a good life. Try to be a nice person and be the one some people have taught me to be, but honest sometimes I am about to explode in a bad way, as people do things that hurts more than they should hurt. As today Jonas my ex boyfriend is trying to be my friend but he is not my friend anymore he is just my ex boyfriend and he is the last person on this earth I want to have anything to do with I would rather die than to be his friend again.

Then the other thing that I was thinking the other things that makes me happy it is really making me so happy it brings me happy tears in the eyes, I will tell you all why I am so happy.

It is because I really know why people are jealous of me for once in my life I am perfectly happy and in love, I am so happy that I want everyone to know that. When people ask me why I am so happy that I smile without knowing it, I smile because there is one that loves me or who I am no matter what I like or don’t like. There are not so many people that respect me for who I am, I don’t know why but they seem to miss who I am and what I am like. I always forgive people I shouldn’t forgive because I am nice, but somehow I don’t get how I can be the bitch and the bad person always.

When I start to think back I am always the person that has got blamed for everything for every single thing even when I haven’t done anything. I can remember one thing it was in class some girls talked trash about me and we where about 11 years old and they stand 2 meters from me and talked so I told the teacher that they did talk trash about me and you know what the teacher did. He blamed me, I really never understood why he blamed me, but he was the only person that could have stopped the trash talk but instead he let them talk and they continued and in the end I was the one that got hurt, and still am hurt. Because it never end never ever ends. Why can’t people leave me alone and let me be happy as I am with Michael?

Michael is the one that makes me smile, when he hugs me my world stops for seconds because I realize how lucky I am to have his love, to have his support, and when he kiss me I feel something that I have never ever felt in my life that is joy and happiness. I feel so safe when I sleep beside him, I want him to hug me all night long, I want him to be the one that saves me from everything, because when I am with him I know I am in the right place. I love him with my whole heart and I know that one day I can be the one that stops his world as he stops mine; I really know what true love is when I am with him, before I did not know what love was about.

When I wake up beside Michael I fall in love again twice as much as I was the night before, because when you look in his green eyes you drown in them, and when he smiles and says I love you I really just feel like a little girl that wants to hide. Everything feels right with Michael even things I don’t want to talk about here but everything feels right with him.

Now I will think about the future I will have with the best lad in this world, and hope that he asks me the question I want him to ask me on a special place.

Michael Miles I love you so much and I want you to feel as I do. My angel I want you to be here because I feel lost and heartbroken when you are so far away, but in the same time I feel more blessed than I have ever done, I feel stronger than I have ever done, you make me smile even when I am sad, even if we like different things we always will love each other.

I love you my own Blowfish <3