I am starting to get pissed off on one girl, she doesn’t understand things! ARGH why the hell would she still be after him, why the hell would she want him to make her feel good, or even worse that he should take a chance on her, so she can make him happy! For fuck sake if I ever see that chick I hope to god that someone holds me so I don’t punch her. Trust me she would be run if she sees me.
The only thing is that I want her to leave me and my loved ones alone, but I guess that is too much to ask for. Oh well someday she will understand the things. She is just (erm what is the word I want to write) extremely stupid, that thinks she is really hot and that everyone loves her.
Well it is time for you to wake up because I know you do read my blog, and here is what I think about you. I don’t care if you don’t like me to hang out her, but the thing is that it is only me who knows who it is and maybe that person that I am talking about! So let me start with what I think about you.
You are the biggest moron that walks on this planet, you think you are so hot and things like that, and I really can’t understand how the hell she can be in love with someone that doesn’t love her. The thing that is the worst is that she is out for a guy that is taken. Oh yeah he doesn’t love you, time for you to wake up, honest when I think about it he doesn’t even want to be your friend when I think about it. How stupid aren’t you. Oh well sometimes she will regret that she has put so much time on this dude and when that day comes I will smile more than ever because then I know that she actually do understand things! Well you think that I want to be your friend all I think about you is bad things, you just are out to be my friend so you can sneak about things, but I will not spill anything, not a word how things are. All I do want for you is to leave me alone, and stay as far as you can from everyone I love and things like that!
I think I should tell one thing, I don’t accept things myself so good, but at least I do know when someone doesn’t want to be my friend, and doesn’t love me. Or is it that I respect what the other person say. I can confess that I can mail mean mails to friends, to tell them what the hell I think about things, but in the end it is the friend that I mail that decide if she/him wants to have me in their life!
Now to a good news, Jonas my ex boyfriend called me yesterday to tell me one thing. I can’t believe that he actually listens to me for once, I have told him so many times that I want him out from my life trust me when I say this, it will feel empty cause I was friend with him for a long time, but the thing is that he and me are a bad combination and honest what he said in the phone call was this : Johanna, I don’t think we can be friends anymore because I feel like I am destroying your relationship you have now, you know that I love you but when I see you happy it breaks my heart, because I want you to be mine, and you where mine once and I blew it and I can’t fix it. I just hope that Michael will do a better job than I did, I hope that you two will be happy together, this is my god bye to you and I know we might will see each other sometimes, but I will pretend that I don’t know you.
Honest that thing is that it will be so good that he is out from my life, because he do things without thinking how I would feel in the end, trust me that boy has made me cry, laugh but he has never made me feel completed as I do feel today.
I will always remember the bad times more with him than the good times, cause we had more bad times in our friendship, and relationship but when I thought I loved him I did fight for his love, and trust me I punched lots of girls, made sure that everyone knew Jonas was mine, oh I know I do sound jealous and I was so jealous that he never looked at me as he did on the others. Because we didn’t love each other we should just have been friends and never been together. Jonas our time has come to an end and I hope that you will be happy with the paths you choose and I hope you happiness for the further this is my goodbye to you.
Now to the thing I want to say would you fight for the person you love? I know that I would do that, and honest I don’t care if he says that he loves me. Because if the girls will hit on him extremely much I would get angry, and leave him there alone, because that is how I work or I would punch everyone so far away that they know they are alive. But I would never ever say that he can’t be friends with someone or things like that, because that will only lead to bad things, all I want is for my boyfriend to be happy, and I know if he isn’t happy to having you as a friend he would say that to the person or just stop talking to him/her and pretend that they are dead.
The thing is I have grown so much this last year when I think about how I was a year from now, I was in a deep dark hole, I don’t think anyone really realize how bad I felt last January and February, people used me more than ever, they did just tell me that it was for my best but it wasn’t for my best. Honest I realize things I never thought was possible but they where that. Today I am so happy and I am so happy that I am out from that black hole it took me some time to come up from it. And I will never say the reason that made me come up from the hole. But it was one thing and that thing was a bad for so many but for me it was the best thing ever cause it made me realize that you have to live your life to make things happen. Today I smile more than I have ever done in my whole life. Because I know that there are only good things to look forward to. I know what I want to fight for, I know who I want to have in my life, and this year is going to be a change for me in a good way. I will kick out every one that is bad for me and those that doesn’t respect me as a person.
Now I have told you more things that you want to know. But this has been great to write off because now I can start to forget them and make it happen!
Now to the mountain I have with dishes and then clean the hallway and kitchen and then dance my butt off, because it is soon valentine’s day and that day I will tell my loved ones that I love them and hug my mum and dad just because I don’t hug them enough today.
Now the ending, I hope my friends in Egypt are okay and that the people in Australia doesn't get the cyclone.
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