This is my confession no one else, no one else do know what is going on in my head, what I am worried about, what I am going through. So my blog is here to clear something you might not know about me and my life what has made me the person I am today, the person I was before, and what I want to become.
So let me start with the things before today, you don’t know how it is to be living in a country where you never feel welcome, where you every day have to hear go back to your own damn country, I am home I was born in Gothenburg, but I will never be Swedish according to some people, I know this is silly but this has been my reality. I always heard things I didn’t want to hear about myself, that I was ugly, people can never love me for who I am, people will always hate me. I don’t like my past I try to not to talk too much about it because it makes me remind me of a time I really don’t want to remember.
Well then I think of those things that actually has been good in my past like my heart operation even if there happen things I never want to remember that I will always remember, I woke up when they did the operation, the memories are painful but they are good in the end..
Those things I want for the future is things that I know I can get because people don’t realize that they have made me stronger than I was when you said those things to me, those things made me stronger than anything in this world, so I shall thank you for making me who I am today.
Well if you want to change things in your life as I want you need to look where you are in the present if you want to kick out people from your life you need to kick them out today not tomorrow or wait because than you will never kick them out. If you need a change you need to change the things today, then you know that you are in the right path of the road you want to go on.
You never do mistakes you learn from the things you have made, and they make you stronger, well I name this as my confession I have learned so much this year, you really have to change things when they are in the present, and I have done that I have kicked out so called friends, that made me feel bad inside. The funny thing is that they haven’t realize that I have kicked them out I have just stopped to talk to those I don’t want in my life, there are some people I don’t want in my life but I talk to them because they need me more than anything, I always hear them say Johanna, I need help, but they don’t understand that I need help sometimes.
Where are you when I need to talk, I have a confession to make, I am not the strong person you think I am, I am a little girl inside. I need help, I need to talk, I am breaking apart things gets too much sometimes but there isn’t anyone that listens to me, well there is of course someone that do listen to me, but that is not fair on who it is. Always have to listen to my problems, my deepest thoughts.
When will people learn that I am not as strong as you think I am...
//Johanna
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