When you start to
think back on things you have done you get ashamed of yourself I know I get
that in some things, I really wish I can change them but honestly I can’t
change them and I would never want to change them as they have made me to the
person I am today.
I know that I should
have said no to one guy instead of tricking him I wanted to go out on a date
with him, he even brought flowers and was dressed up all I did was look at him
from distance, I think I was a bit mean to him, I knew he liked me loads but I didn’t
have the heart to say no to him.
Or when I started to
flirt with my best friends brother, that is not a clever thing to do when you
are in the age of 15, I mean come on what was I thinking there, oh well it is
fun to see him today because I just think, how could I flirt with him.
Really don’t know why
I have been so mean in the past to boys that has liked me, I was as you can say
a player, I did make them do things for me as I wanted them but I never liked
them I just used them, honestly the only boy I liked he really didn’t like me
in the same way. I knew that, and there for I was mean to other boys and made
sure they started to like me loads then they just got crushed as I thought it
was fun, but they should have learned that I never told them if I liked them or
not. Bu the worst thing is probably that I did turn many of them so they lost
their friends as I put them against each other, for me it was just a game.
I am happy I have grown
up, because today I would never change anything because today I am so happy
with my fiancée and all those things I have done, is in the past, but as I know
some of you read my blog I am sorry that I used you in my twisted games I had
with you, and sorry I never told you that I never liked you in the same way, I
know I should have told you that from the begging but it was fun to see you do
what I wanted.
-
Jo
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