Things I guess

I really don’t know how to write this as I feel so hurt because people has put their so called nice nose in some things, and now I really just have to tell everyone that will know who they are, as that is what this post is about, yeah you who really do hurt me and you probably don’t even realise that.

The first thing is you really can’t tell me if I have done the right or wrong choice you are my friends there for you should accept what I do, you can tell me that you think I have wrong but you can never tell me that I can do it or not, for fucks sake I have never been this angry as I am now, because how much you think you know what is best for me you don’t know that. I know that myself.

Then for the other thing, who gave you the right to say that I fake my feelings for my own fiancée, come on you really can’t fake those feelings, not those I have, I have one mate that actually says I glow when I start to speak about Michael I get so happy and so calm, and actually she has told me that, it is probably one of the best choices I have done, to let down the walls around my heart, as I have been a cold bitch, but honestly when you fall in love as I have done, it only grows, so I really don’t understand how some people can have told that I was faking my feelings for my boyfriend, that is just so strange as I show what I feel. If I hate you, honestly you would know that, and if I like you, you know that too, and you actually have to have met me to know if I do like you or not, otherwise you are clueless.

I have a thing that I actually do want my mates to do but they never do it anyway, as I know some of you do speak shite behind my back, why the hell can’t you stand for what you have been saying about me, I mean if you say that I am bitch that fakes my feelings, why not tell me that? No you have to talk to others about it! Honestly you don’t even know what a friend is as you do that, you say you are my friend and yet you do something like that, and if you think I am a whore, why not tell me, why is it so hard to tell me the truth about what you have said, You say I am retarded okay that is not even funny anymore, people should stand for what they say, I can tell you everyone how I feel for you and have done as I stand for what I have said and all that.

Then to the other thing that actually bothers me that is when I really needed a friend most turned their backs away from me, with all bullshit and not supporting me, when I was sad about one thing, one person actually told me that everyone else knew that he played with me, and that he never loved me, why the hell didn’t you tell me that from the begging you just played along in the sick game, oh wait what did happen in the end?  I really am so angry at people that they can’t stand for what they say or do, honestly I really don’t need you in my life, I am sick of you all trying to control me and all that.

Than the worst thing is when some of my mates says that my fiancée is bad for me, as things that has happen in the past, but honestly you really don’t know how complete I do feel when I am with him, I feel like my last piece of the puzzle has come to the right place, honestly if you think I would choose you over my fiancée you are stupid as I would choose the person that makes me happy, complete, and mostly feel calm, and makes me smile. There is your answer I really don’t care about you as much as I care for the person I truly love.

I can go on and on, but honestly who is a real friend? It’s someone that would cry with you when something bad has happen, someone that gets you up from the black hole you might be in, it’s someone that would help you no matter what you have done, even if you are wrong, and mostly a friend supports you no matter what.

-Jo