Going to write about my ex boyfriend that seems to piss me off more than anything these days.
The thing is we broke up 2007 and that was one of the best decision I have done really, our relationship wasn’t healthy at all, we kept hurting each other in a strange way. But now when I have found someone new, he seems to want to destroy my happiness, by calling me all the time to say that he loves me and miss me as his girl. He says that he can be better than my Boyfriend that he calls idiot because he has me. Anyway the thing is that I don’t love Jonas I never did when I think close about it I only was with him because I didn’t wanted to be the Johanna I was in school, where everyone bullied me and called me ugly. Jonas was with me and I felt at least that there was one person in the whole world that loved me. But was Jonas inlove with me he always kept saying I love you Johanna, but he cheated he screwed around, sometimes even in front of me; the thing was that I didn’t care about it. I was stupid to stay with him for so long time.
I remember one time we played spin the bottle and I had to kiss his brother and he screamed that I cheated on him when we was playing a game, and it didn’t matter that I kissed his best friends. But when it pointed to his bother the hell was out. I should not have gone with him home because all I know was that it would go worse when we was alone and it got worse in more than one ways.
The only thing that was good in that relationship was when we where away from each other then I was happy, when I tried to reach out to my friends they said I should be happy to have Jonas he loves you, and you are happy. Was I happy when I had so much pain in my heart, I cried lots of times because I was so unhappy, when I was walking outside alone I was happy, or when I was with one dude called Sam I remember we was taking a tea and I said my boyfriend is an huge idiot and he asked me why I didn’t leave him and the answer I gave him was that I was afraid to leave him because you never know what he might do.
The thing is that Jonas still think he owns me like I am his but I am far away from his, I don’t love him I actually dislike him lots and the only reason I am talking to him is because we have so many common friends that bugs me to be nice to him so he doesn’t freak out on them.
Then I have another boy that is friend with Jonas, his name is Linus he is a really strange person, he says he loves me but he really doesn’t love me, I know he thinks he loves me but Linus you don’t love me. Honest if you would love me you would respect that I don’t love you and don’t want you in my life anymore. I am happy we where friends but today we aren’t friends and we will never ever be friends again. You have to realize that we have grown apart from each other and you and I am not good for each other please forget me and I will be happy again. If you really love me you would leave me alone and let me be happy with Michael.
Then we have that boy that always propose to me Fredrik, you really have to realize that I don’t feel the same for you. Fredde you know I like you as a friend but honest I don’t love you and I will never love you because you are a friend that is a good friend as long as you don’t propose and love me. Honest I am sorry that you love me because you will get hurt in the end you and I will never ever happen. Why the hell did you have to get those feelings for me? You and Linus are my ex best mates and honest would you want to hurt your own friend so you can be with me. No wonder that Jonas is an idiot because of you two he freaks out, his biggest nightmare is that I would take someone of you or someone else as I have done. Honest you are in the past and you three will stay there. Today I don’t want you in my life I want to be happy and start a new life with someone else. And you have to realize that before you can go on with your life. How fun can it be to be inlove with someone that can’t even look at you because she doesn’t want to have you? I don’t think it’s fun to break someone’s heart but I guess I have to do that before they realize that I don’t want them in my life! I don’t care about you anymore; sorry you are just my friends friends…
Jonas please leave me alone, you know deep down that you and me will never happen again.
Linus, leave me alone I don't want you in my life
Fredrik, I am deeply sorry that I don't feel the same for you as you do for me but you have to let me go I am inlove with someone else.
/Johanna
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