I have something’s I have promise to talk about, as my friends want to read about so I will actually write about that, they want me to tell them what I think about having a ”friends with benefits!, ”distance relationship” and some random questions i have got.
Let me start with the first subject friends with benefits what I can say about that, I have had that and it is not good to have it. Well the thing is you always get feelings or someone of the friend gets, I mean it should just be about having sex but honest it doesn’t work like that. It is hard to just be a friend with benefits I mean the other one might just call you like 7 pm and say I want to have you right now, get ready. That is nothing you shouldn’t have if you aren’t ready for sex. I choose to have my ex as it was easiest to have someone I knew that I knew I wouldn’t get feelings for. Mostly because I was so over my ex as you could be, but then I wanted to have sex ‘cause I like that. I am not ashamed to confess that now either.
But now to what you want to know with that relationship is that it is twisted and you really don’t know if you are together or not, but I said clearly that I wasn’t together with him, and we will never be that either. But the others saw us like a couple but we weren’t a couple. Anyway I wish that I didn’t take him as a friend with a benefit since I know it is wrong, and I would say to everyone that ask me if they should take a friend with benefit to pass it, it is complicated and bad…
Now to the other thing, distance relationship honest I would say they are best because you really need to trust your boyfriend complete if you are having trust issues you can’t have a distance relationship. But the time you spend when you actually are with each other will be more special because you will take every single moment and treasure it as it was the last day you are living. I know that you really treat each other much better when you start off with a distance relationship because you take the time to get to know the other person, you talk lots on phone, skype, msn and then when you meet you will walk on the beaches, go to the cinema, go shopping together, play games, be nerds with each other. When you meet each other every single day you really want to spend time alone without your loved one, you don’t take time to get to know the person since you think I can do that tomorrow.
Well I know that you have to make the effort no matter what relationship you are in, you have to work for it to work.
Now to the so good questions my crazy mates want me to answer. ´
Why do you think you are ugly?
Honest, I don’t think I am ugly, I just say so you all other can feel pretty I know I am pretty and beautiful. Then there is one more thing I love to piss you off it is fun to see you trying to convince me that I am beautiful.
Why do you tend to dance on bar disks?
Easy question to answer it is because I know for a fact that I will get free vodka and champagne ‘cause I shake my arse there, trough I don’t have to do that either to get free things, I just have to blink with my eyes and smile and say buy me something nice.
Why do you talk so much?
Because you never have anything to say, ha! You know if I talk I feel like I can talk about anything but you always just say okay let’s do something else, you need to do things and be happy. oh yeah I do love to talk..
/Johanna
Monday, 28 February 2011
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Michael..
I thought people lied when they said that they feel warm all inside when they fall in love with the right person, that you can feel the butterflies in the stomach. I know that I should have listen to them because you do have butterflies when you are truly in love with someone. You can’t describe in words what the person means to you, what you feel for him/her. Honest that is the hardest part is to show the whole world what you feel, and trust me I do want to show the whole universe that I love you that I want to spend every second with you, I don’t want anyone else.
Somehow everything is written in the stars, what we shall do what happens in our lives. The only thing you know for sure is that you will die one day, and you should not be afraid of dying you should love to live, death is something we all are seeing and experience.
The hardest thing in life is to live, if you are like me afraid of thing, those things actually makes it hard to live. Because you do think about those things, I am so afraid of getting hurt that is actually one thing that I am so afraid of that I don’t open myself to so many people. But those that really sees the real Johanna knows who I am and I am not afraid of being her when I am with those that I trust and know that will not hurt me.
How come it is so much easier to show when you don’t like anyone, I mean there is one girl I don’t like and I show it really much too. Well I mean I have told that person that she is stupid to think others will like her because she treats other people bad, she don’t even realize that she might hurt the other person because she is so stupid. I have no trouble to say that to her and I can actually get really bitchy to her mostly because I despise her more than anything; I have no problems to show it to the world. I would be really happy if the rest of the world can see how she is as a person.
But now to the hard things to show love to the one you love. I can’t show it open I think I need to take that private. Mostly because it is so deep feelings behind that love, I can say I love you, but there are only you that knows what I feel for you entirely. You know that I become the little girl that gets so shy that I get speechless, but you also know that I can tell you what is on my heart, what is on my mind, and you will never ever judge me. You just say tell me everything, I have told you my thoughts my things and you have helped me so much.
The thing is that when I think about you I start to smile, and I feel completely warm in my body. I don’t feel scared when I think about the future, because I know that I want you in it, I want to share every second with you. I want to be the one that makes you feel good, the reason you smile, the reason you are happy, just the way that I feel for you. You are the reason I smile, you are the reason my eyes looks happy, the reason I feel completely happy inside.
I really don’t want to miss the chance to be happy, and I don’t want to miss any kiss from you, I don’t want to fall asleep because it will be 7 hours without you and those 7 hours I could hug you, show you how much I love you. I am afraid that there is not enough time to show you how much I truly love you Michael there will never be a time where I don’t show you how much I love you, I would go to every country and tell everyone that I love you.
I want you to be beside me when I am lying on the ground, watching up to the sky in the night, watching up to the star. I want you to be beside me when I walk on the beach while it is sunset, I want you to hug me tight and whisper to my ear how much you love me, because at that moment I will be the little girl that I can be. I want you to be the person that saves me when I am about to fall in to a dark hole that I can’t get up from. The day we all girl dreams about I want to happen with you, and when I walk down the aisle I want you to lose your breath because I am so beautiful.
When we are watching the stars together I want to lie on you and look deep in your eyes, and tell you look at the sky there is not enough stars to tell you how much I love you, there is not enough stars in the universe to show you how happy my heart is to have you as my sweetheart Michael, I truly love you and I want to spend every single moment with you. I will never be cold, because all I have to think about is you to get warm again.
So with this post I have showed people, a part of how much I truly love you Michael, and there is not enough words to show it, trust me I know!
I love you Michael,
Yours, Johanna
Somehow everything is written in the stars, what we shall do what happens in our lives. The only thing you know for sure is that you will die one day, and you should not be afraid of dying you should love to live, death is something we all are seeing and experience.
The hardest thing in life is to live, if you are like me afraid of thing, those things actually makes it hard to live. Because you do think about those things, I am so afraid of getting hurt that is actually one thing that I am so afraid of that I don’t open myself to so many people. But those that really sees the real Johanna knows who I am and I am not afraid of being her when I am with those that I trust and know that will not hurt me.
How come it is so much easier to show when you don’t like anyone, I mean there is one girl I don’t like and I show it really much too. Well I mean I have told that person that she is stupid to think others will like her because she treats other people bad, she don’t even realize that she might hurt the other person because she is so stupid. I have no trouble to say that to her and I can actually get really bitchy to her mostly because I despise her more than anything; I have no problems to show it to the world. I would be really happy if the rest of the world can see how she is as a person.
But now to the hard things to show love to the one you love. I can’t show it open I think I need to take that private. Mostly because it is so deep feelings behind that love, I can say I love you, but there are only you that knows what I feel for you entirely. You know that I become the little girl that gets so shy that I get speechless, but you also know that I can tell you what is on my heart, what is on my mind, and you will never ever judge me. You just say tell me everything, I have told you my thoughts my things and you have helped me so much.
The thing is that when I think about you I start to smile, and I feel completely warm in my body. I don’t feel scared when I think about the future, because I know that I want you in it, I want to share every second with you. I want to be the one that makes you feel good, the reason you smile, the reason you are happy, just the way that I feel for you. You are the reason I smile, you are the reason my eyes looks happy, the reason I feel completely happy inside.
I really don’t want to miss the chance to be happy, and I don’t want to miss any kiss from you, I don’t want to fall asleep because it will be 7 hours without you and those 7 hours I could hug you, show you how much I love you. I am afraid that there is not enough time to show you how much I truly love you Michael there will never be a time where I don’t show you how much I love you, I would go to every country and tell everyone that I love you.
I want you to be beside me when I am lying on the ground, watching up to the sky in the night, watching up to the star. I want you to be beside me when I walk on the beach while it is sunset, I want you to hug me tight and whisper to my ear how much you love me, because at that moment I will be the little girl that I can be. I want you to be the person that saves me when I am about to fall in to a dark hole that I can’t get up from. The day we all girl dreams about I want to happen with you, and when I walk down the aisle I want you to lose your breath because I am so beautiful.
When we are watching the stars together I want to lie on you and look deep in your eyes, and tell you look at the sky there is not enough stars to tell you how much I love you, there is not enough stars in the universe to show you how happy my heart is to have you as my sweetheart Michael, I truly love you and I want to spend every single moment with you. I will never be cold, because all I have to think about is you to get warm again.
So with this post I have showed people, a part of how much I truly love you Michael, and there is not enough words to show it, trust me I know!
I love you Michael,
Yours, Johanna
Friday, 25 February 2011
my confession.... or some parts...
This is my confession no one else, no one else do know what is going on in my head, what I am worried about, what I am going through. So my blog is here to clear something you might not know about me and my life what has made me the person I am today, the person I was before, and what I want to become.
So let me start with the things before today, you don’t know how it is to be living in a country where you never feel welcome, where you every day have to hear go back to your own damn country, I am home I was born in Gothenburg, but I will never be Swedish according to some people, I know this is silly but this has been my reality. I always heard things I didn’t want to hear about myself, that I was ugly, people can never love me for who I am, people will always hate me. I don’t like my past I try to not to talk too much about it because it makes me remind me of a time I really don’t want to remember.
Well then I think of those things that actually has been good in my past like my heart operation even if there happen things I never want to remember that I will always remember, I woke up when they did the operation, the memories are painful but they are good in the end..
Those things I want for the future is things that I know I can get because people don’t realize that they have made me stronger than I was when you said those things to me, those things made me stronger than anything in this world, so I shall thank you for making me who I am today.
Well if you want to change things in your life as I want you need to look where you are in the present if you want to kick out people from your life you need to kick them out today not tomorrow or wait because than you will never kick them out. If you need a change you need to change the things today, then you know that you are in the right path of the road you want to go on.
You never do mistakes you learn from the things you have made, and they make you stronger, well I name this as my confession I have learned so much this year, you really have to change things when they are in the present, and I have done that I have kicked out so called friends, that made me feel bad inside. The funny thing is that they haven’t realize that I have kicked them out I have just stopped to talk to those I don’t want in my life, there are some people I don’t want in my life but I talk to them because they need me more than anything, I always hear them say Johanna, I need help, but they don’t understand that I need help sometimes.
Where are you when I need to talk, I have a confession to make, I am not the strong person you think I am, I am a little girl inside. I need help, I need to talk, I am breaking apart things gets too much sometimes but there isn’t anyone that listens to me, well there is of course someone that do listen to me, but that is not fair on who it is. Always have to listen to my problems, my deepest thoughts.
When will people learn that I am not as strong as you think I am...
//Johanna
So let me start with the things before today, you don’t know how it is to be living in a country where you never feel welcome, where you every day have to hear go back to your own damn country, I am home I was born in Gothenburg, but I will never be Swedish according to some people, I know this is silly but this has been my reality. I always heard things I didn’t want to hear about myself, that I was ugly, people can never love me for who I am, people will always hate me. I don’t like my past I try to not to talk too much about it because it makes me remind me of a time I really don’t want to remember.
Well then I think of those things that actually has been good in my past like my heart operation even if there happen things I never want to remember that I will always remember, I woke up when they did the operation, the memories are painful but they are good in the end..
Those things I want for the future is things that I know I can get because people don’t realize that they have made me stronger than I was when you said those things to me, those things made me stronger than anything in this world, so I shall thank you for making me who I am today.
Well if you want to change things in your life as I want you need to look where you are in the present if you want to kick out people from your life you need to kick them out today not tomorrow or wait because than you will never kick them out. If you need a change you need to change the things today, then you know that you are in the right path of the road you want to go on.
You never do mistakes you learn from the things you have made, and they make you stronger, well I name this as my confession I have learned so much this year, you really have to change things when they are in the present, and I have done that I have kicked out so called friends, that made me feel bad inside. The funny thing is that they haven’t realize that I have kicked them out I have just stopped to talk to those I don’t want in my life, there are some people I don’t want in my life but I talk to them because they need me more than anything, I always hear them say Johanna, I need help, but they don’t understand that I need help sometimes.
Where are you when I need to talk, I have a confession to make, I am not the strong person you think I am, I am a little girl inside. I need help, I need to talk, I am breaking apart things gets too much sometimes but there isn’t anyone that listens to me, well there is of course someone that do listen to me, but that is not fair on who it is. Always have to listen to my problems, my deepest thoughts.
When will people learn that I am not as strong as you think I am...
//Johanna
Thursday, 24 February 2011
heart
I really hate that everything hurts so damn much, really why the hell would every disease hurt so damn much.
I have been really ill this winter and guess what in our water it has been Legionella that is really bad I know that, when you start to read what you can have when you have it everything seems like I have it. Well just say that it is not normal to wake up with headache that is so hard that you want to cry like a baby, nothing seem to help. Well honest I am happy that I don’t have anything else at least more than hard to breath and I have got sick lately very much.
Well now to this morning, I really had so bad headache and my arms I didn’t have any feelings in them, so this I guess is something that has with the heart to do, as I have really hard to talk about this, but I have to big heart. All I know is that it will make me a bit more tired than I am normally but I should not be ill like get fevers and stuff like that, well this morning I promise I had a heart attack, trust me I know when I have it since I have had some already like five times before well this morning I had one. But thank god I didn’t have to go to the hospital tho I should go really, well tomorrow I have doctors I have to talk to them about that..
But this is the hardest part for me, people always tell me to make a new heart operation, but I don’t want to take one, and I know the reason why I don’t want to take one, I will tell you now that because I don’t want to hear from anyone that I have to take the operation it should be MY CHOICE since it is MY BODY. Well as you know I have operate my heart when I was five years old, but the thing is that I have never ever told what I remember about the operation time, I always say I have forgot it but honest you can’t never forget about it.
Well I do remember that when they put me on the narcoses they asked me to count to ten but I probably got to 30 before I went to sleep as I counted a bit faster then I should have done. Well I do remember counting but then I also remember how I saw in to my chest when it was open, I saw my heart my body inside, because they had got some complication so I had to little narcoses, I think the boy before me died, but anyway I did wake up when they did the operation when they were making my heart better, when you are a kid you don’t want to see things like that, I saw my own heart I am happy I saw it when I was a kid because if I would see it today in grown age I would die from the chock, and that scares me what if I wake up again when they are trying to fix me?
Then today they don’t use narcoses in Sweden they use like local anesthesia and that is bad, because I had it on my hand when they operate it and I felt everything since it didn’t take, and trust me I don’t want to feel when they do my heart either so please stop asking me to take the operation, I know people want me to take it but honest I am too scared to take it, I am scared they will find other problems in my heart when they are doing stuff to help me. Well today I know I am ill and there for I think what I do, I don’t tend to drink so much, I try not to get ill because when I get ill I really have a hard time to do things, and stuff, but people do not understand that. I mean I can’t do things as I want I am not good, I know I am sick I have a bad heart, it is too big, the blood is coming in to fast and goes out to fast, it goes to much blood inside it somehow, I can’t even be bother to know what is wrong with me because I try to think that if I don’t know what is wrong I can deny that I have a bad heart.
My biggest dream is to have kids, and I might not be able to get kids, and that is the worst thing that can happen that I can’t be a mother a loving mother to my kids. That tells them what they can do or not. I want my kids to be smart, and play some sport what sport it is I don’t care because as long as they do something I will be happy. If I get a girl she will never get to go on dates before she is 16 trust me I know that boys are idiots, and always just think on some other things.
But if I get boys I would probably want them to play football, handball or even ice hockey so I can scream at the other team, oh yeah I would actually do that, I support with all my heart, but I would be angry at them if they use girls, oh damn they would hear me moan more than anything that is a dream I have but you never know how your kids will turn out.
I will end this blog with something nice for once,
Stay with me, don’t fall asleep to soon the angels can wait, I need you beside me…
I have been really ill this winter and guess what in our water it has been Legionella that is really bad I know that, when you start to read what you can have when you have it everything seems like I have it. Well just say that it is not normal to wake up with headache that is so hard that you want to cry like a baby, nothing seem to help. Well honest I am happy that I don’t have anything else at least more than hard to breath and I have got sick lately very much.
Well now to this morning, I really had so bad headache and my arms I didn’t have any feelings in them, so this I guess is something that has with the heart to do, as I have really hard to talk about this, but I have to big heart. All I know is that it will make me a bit more tired than I am normally but I should not be ill like get fevers and stuff like that, well this morning I promise I had a heart attack, trust me I know when I have it since I have had some already like five times before well this morning I had one. But thank god I didn’t have to go to the hospital tho I should go really, well tomorrow I have doctors I have to talk to them about that..
But this is the hardest part for me, people always tell me to make a new heart operation, but I don’t want to take one, and I know the reason why I don’t want to take one, I will tell you now that because I don’t want to hear from anyone that I have to take the operation it should be MY CHOICE since it is MY BODY. Well as you know I have operate my heart when I was five years old, but the thing is that I have never ever told what I remember about the operation time, I always say I have forgot it but honest you can’t never forget about it.
Well I do remember that when they put me on the narcoses they asked me to count to ten but I probably got to 30 before I went to sleep as I counted a bit faster then I should have done. Well I do remember counting but then I also remember how I saw in to my chest when it was open, I saw my heart my body inside, because they had got some complication so I had to little narcoses, I think the boy before me died, but anyway I did wake up when they did the operation when they were making my heart better, when you are a kid you don’t want to see things like that, I saw my own heart I am happy I saw it when I was a kid because if I would see it today in grown age I would die from the chock, and that scares me what if I wake up again when they are trying to fix me?
Then today they don’t use narcoses in Sweden they use like local anesthesia and that is bad, because I had it on my hand when they operate it and I felt everything since it didn’t take, and trust me I don’t want to feel when they do my heart either so please stop asking me to take the operation, I know people want me to take it but honest I am too scared to take it, I am scared they will find other problems in my heart when they are doing stuff to help me. Well today I know I am ill and there for I think what I do, I don’t tend to drink so much, I try not to get ill because when I get ill I really have a hard time to do things, and stuff, but people do not understand that. I mean I can’t do things as I want I am not good, I know I am sick I have a bad heart, it is too big, the blood is coming in to fast and goes out to fast, it goes to much blood inside it somehow, I can’t even be bother to know what is wrong with me because I try to think that if I don’t know what is wrong I can deny that I have a bad heart.
My biggest dream is to have kids, and I might not be able to get kids, and that is the worst thing that can happen that I can’t be a mother a loving mother to my kids. That tells them what they can do or not. I want my kids to be smart, and play some sport what sport it is I don’t care because as long as they do something I will be happy. If I get a girl she will never get to go on dates before she is 16 trust me I know that boys are idiots, and always just think on some other things.
But if I get boys I would probably want them to play football, handball or even ice hockey so I can scream at the other team, oh yeah I would actually do that, I support with all my heart, but I would be angry at them if they use girls, oh damn they would hear me moan more than anything that is a dream I have but you never know how your kids will turn out.
I will end this blog with something nice for once,
Stay with me, don’t fall asleep to soon the angels can wait, I need you beside me…
Sunday, 20 February 2011
just some things i wanted to tell you..
I am sick of people in general they don’t respect other people! Uff the hard thing is when you have to talk to those people that doesn’t respect you as a human, or the person you are..
I want to share something here on my blog, that makes me feel like I am a better person that people know about, I had a conversation to a girl the other night, I will not name names, but oh my god, that person wants to save something that you can’t save. I mean we talked and I said okay lets be honest for once, and I asked her have you ever talked bad about me? I really thought she would lie, but guess what she confess that she had talked bad about me, and still she doesn’t have anything against me, how the hell can you not have anything against me when you speak bad things about me? I think that person really need to think close to what she has said about me, because I know everything she has said, thanks to those that are my real friends has told me..
Well now to the conversation, I asked her do you really think that I would want someone like you in my life? In the life life of those I love? I know for a fact she knows I don’t like her, and when she just confess this I don’t like her at all everything that I might had that I might be able to like about here went down the toilett, well I can only speak to myself, but I don’t want people that talk trash in my life about myself, and honest she can moan and tell everyone I have talked bad about her, everyone else would know she is wrong, because I would never go to her level. I know what kind of person she is.
She would not respect that people are happy, she wants to drag you down always, and the worst part she thinks that she is the best. She is faithful and in every faith it says you should respect people no matter what, and she doesn’t do that, she just say people can do things wrong, oh yeah they can do that, but they don’t have to talk open and things like that, I am glad things are out in the open because she doesn’t know that I am far from done with her! She will have to stand for what she has done, it always comes back to you to haunt you!
Well that was the first subject now on to the other one I wanted to talk about..
It is people that is so false, they say up friendship when the other person has friends, lovers that they don’t like. Then they start oh the best part to talk shit about their friend because they have the person that they want to have in their lifes, honest you all show your real side and you do it really bad, if you don’t like the person that they want to have in their life you aren’t a true friend.
A true friend is someone that actually stands by you even when you mess up things, they choose to stand by you. I know for a fact I am a real friend, because my best friend oh yeah she actually choose to take a bad dad to her kid, and be with him in a relationship twice! Still I am her friend and I know she will listen to my opinion, but in the end it is her choice and not mine, but those that talks bad about their friends that they had aren’t a true friend. They don’t know what a friendship is about! They only causes drama, to other people, I know been there done that!
How can you as a friend even if you aren’t friends today talk bad about the person, you have shared good memories with the person, you have shared your opinions, your secret, I mean then you really show the others that they can’t talk with you because you are telling things to others, and want everything to be as you want them to be. I know some people will regret how they have treathed some people because when they realize what they have done it will be to late and they have lost a good person that might be the one that always stood by you no matter what.
Now to the third subject my ex boyfriend that doesn’t even know what he talks about.
I know that he is worried that I will get hurt, but it is my life, and I will still do what I think is right for me. J, you and me will never be together again, and I will never in my life marry you. Because I know for a fact that I don’t love you and I never loved you, well maybe in the beggining but not in the end, I cried more than I smiled, that is not a life. I knew you where cheating deep down, I will not blame everything on you but I should have left you so much earlier, and let myself be happy, but we had good times, and I will try to remember them, but honest you need to leave me alone, I don’t want you in my life at this point of my life.
You remind me of bad times and I don’t want to remember them, I have started to clean up my friends, and you are one that I don’t want to have left in my life, you have to respect that and so doesn L have to respect. I know you are mad because I choose to have F left but I like him as a friend, I miss him as my friend that wasn’t inlove with me, I hope that he will get over me, so we can go back to our friendship, when we played games, had fun. Today we can’t do that because he love me to much and I don’t love him in that way. Why can’t J understand me, I don’t want him to be a part of my life, I will probably never want him in my life, I want to remember the good times, as when we where in Marstrand walking and just had fun. Not when I was wondering if he loved me and cried myslef to sleep.
So J, if you are a true friend you know you have to let me go, since I don’t want you in my life anymore, and take L with you please! I do deserve to be happy as I am.
I really wish people can respect things, but the thing is that people are to stupid to understand when they hurt someone, and they do that without knowing it. I have hurt people lots, and I am sorry for hurting you. But you might have hurt me too, when I think about it it is better not to open yourself to so many people because they doesn’t respect you as you are anyway.
People should learn what respect is, what love is, and what honesty is.. when you know those things you can be my friend!
I don't say I am perfect because I am far from perfect!
/Johanna
I want to share something here on my blog, that makes me feel like I am a better person that people know about, I had a conversation to a girl the other night, I will not name names, but oh my god, that person wants to save something that you can’t save. I mean we talked and I said okay lets be honest for once, and I asked her have you ever talked bad about me? I really thought she would lie, but guess what she confess that she had talked bad about me, and still she doesn’t have anything against me, how the hell can you not have anything against me when you speak bad things about me? I think that person really need to think close to what she has said about me, because I know everything she has said, thanks to those that are my real friends has told me..
Well now to the conversation, I asked her do you really think that I would want someone like you in my life? In the life life of those I love? I know for a fact she knows I don’t like her, and when she just confess this I don’t like her at all everything that I might had that I might be able to like about here went down the toilett, well I can only speak to myself, but I don’t want people that talk trash in my life about myself, and honest she can moan and tell everyone I have talked bad about her, everyone else would know she is wrong, because I would never go to her level. I know what kind of person she is.
She would not respect that people are happy, she wants to drag you down always, and the worst part she thinks that she is the best. She is faithful and in every faith it says you should respect people no matter what, and she doesn’t do that, she just say people can do things wrong, oh yeah they can do that, but they don’t have to talk open and things like that, I am glad things are out in the open because she doesn’t know that I am far from done with her! She will have to stand for what she has done, it always comes back to you to haunt you!
Well that was the first subject now on to the other one I wanted to talk about..
It is people that is so false, they say up friendship when the other person has friends, lovers that they don’t like. Then they start oh the best part to talk shit about their friend because they have the person that they want to have in their lifes, honest you all show your real side and you do it really bad, if you don’t like the person that they want to have in their life you aren’t a true friend.
A true friend is someone that actually stands by you even when you mess up things, they choose to stand by you. I know for a fact I am a real friend, because my best friend oh yeah she actually choose to take a bad dad to her kid, and be with him in a relationship twice! Still I am her friend and I know she will listen to my opinion, but in the end it is her choice and not mine, but those that talks bad about their friends that they had aren’t a true friend. They don’t know what a friendship is about! They only causes drama, to other people, I know been there done that!
How can you as a friend even if you aren’t friends today talk bad about the person, you have shared good memories with the person, you have shared your opinions, your secret, I mean then you really show the others that they can’t talk with you because you are telling things to others, and want everything to be as you want them to be. I know some people will regret how they have treathed some people because when they realize what they have done it will be to late and they have lost a good person that might be the one that always stood by you no matter what.
Now to the third subject my ex boyfriend that doesn’t even know what he talks about.
I know that he is worried that I will get hurt, but it is my life, and I will still do what I think is right for me. J, you and me will never be together again, and I will never in my life marry you. Because I know for a fact that I don’t love you and I never loved you, well maybe in the beggining but not in the end, I cried more than I smiled, that is not a life. I knew you where cheating deep down, I will not blame everything on you but I should have left you so much earlier, and let myself be happy, but we had good times, and I will try to remember them, but honest you need to leave me alone, I don’t want you in my life at this point of my life.
You remind me of bad times and I don’t want to remember them, I have started to clean up my friends, and you are one that I don’t want to have left in my life, you have to respect that and so doesn L have to respect. I know you are mad because I choose to have F left but I like him as a friend, I miss him as my friend that wasn’t inlove with me, I hope that he will get over me, so we can go back to our friendship, when we played games, had fun. Today we can’t do that because he love me to much and I don’t love him in that way. Why can’t J understand me, I don’t want him to be a part of my life, I will probably never want him in my life, I want to remember the good times, as when we where in Marstrand walking and just had fun. Not when I was wondering if he loved me and cried myslef to sleep.
So J, if you are a true friend you know you have to let me go, since I don’t want you in my life anymore, and take L with you please! I do deserve to be happy as I am.
I really wish people can respect things, but the thing is that people are to stupid to understand when they hurt someone, and they do that without knowing it. I have hurt people lots, and I am sorry for hurting you. But you might have hurt me too, when I think about it it is better not to open yourself to so many people because they doesn’t respect you as you are anyway.
People should learn what respect is, what love is, and what honesty is.. when you know those things you can be my friend!
I don't say I am perfect because I am far from perfect!
/Johanna
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Shite boys
Now to the thing I want to talk about are boys! ARGH they are stupid or some are… while I am writing this I will sing to the final countdown with Europe, my favorite song of all time, this is the first song I learned to sing, awesome right? I know!
Oh now to the thing, that actually piss me of really much is that one dude said this better too show you so you can see it:
Him : Snälla, kan du avbryta bröllopet ;) = please, can you cancel the wedding ;)
Me: Nope I will not cancel my wedding, I love my finance..
Hope your valentines day have been good
Him: Ok then unfortunately I'm in the waiting list :(
Me: I will never divorce him
Him: Ok I have a better idea there is a thing called open marriage I like it ;)
Me: I will have a close marriage...
Him: Come on take it easy u look very young and pretty u should enjoy ur time let's have some fun :-P
Now to my question why the hell would I want to have an open marriage as he say, for fucks sake when I get married I want to have one person for the rest of my life, and if I would divorce my husband (well that will never happen anyway) I would never ever take someone just for having someone, I would rather be alone and take care of myself and probably my children. I wouldn’t want someone else, honest my view of marriage is that you get married to that person you love, and that person that makes you feel complete, like the puzzle is done, anyway if you get divorced you will not get married again but you “might” find someone else but you would never love that person so much as you have loved that one you get married too. I really see marriage as something that will last forever, and yeah I do have my Christian’s views here and there is nothing no one can say that will make me change that. I mean I have friend that has been cheating while they have been married and then they have said that that they don’t hurt the other person because they have had it so bad. Well guess what you do hurt the other person, that one that you are married to!
But why can’t single guess respect that I am in a relationship, is it because I am blond, blue eyed or is there any other reasons, for that, honest I would want to know because when I had my hair brownish colored of course no one flirted with me as they do now! Uff I promise it is because I have my blond hair now, or that I am in a relationship, but when I think close about it, it has to be because I am blond, I have only problems when I am my original hair color.
Girls that is not blond, and blue eyed doesn’t understand how much trouble I have I was in spain when I was younger and if there hadn’t been Norwegian dude’s that helped me god knows what the other boys had done to me, they wanted to marry me, fuck me they were so rude to me, and they said blonds are more fun to fuck, strangely the boys from Norway helped me one said he was my boyfriend and told everyone to get the fuck hell away from me, then he gave me my bra to my bikini that I had dropped thanks to the waves out in the ocean.. Fun memory do I was so embraced because my bra was gone and one from Norway helped me, nice dude that boy.
Now I have to end this blog I really need a pee and have something to eat, Hope you have enjoyed this blog, and thank you my loving boyfriend for putting that dude to where he belongs, I love you <3
Oh now to the thing, that actually piss me of really much is that one dude said this better too show you so you can see it:
Him : Snälla, kan du avbryta bröllopet ;) = please, can you cancel the wedding ;)
Me: Nope I will not cancel my wedding, I love my finance..
Hope your valentines day have been good
Him: Ok then unfortunately I'm in the waiting list :(
Me: I will never divorce him
Him: Ok I have a better idea there is a thing called open marriage I like it ;)
Me: I will have a close marriage...
Him: Come on take it easy u look very young and pretty u should enjoy ur time let's have some fun :-P
Now to my question why the hell would I want to have an open marriage as he say, for fucks sake when I get married I want to have one person for the rest of my life, and if I would divorce my husband (well that will never happen anyway) I would never ever take someone just for having someone, I would rather be alone and take care of myself and probably my children. I wouldn’t want someone else, honest my view of marriage is that you get married to that person you love, and that person that makes you feel complete, like the puzzle is done, anyway if you get divorced you will not get married again but you “might” find someone else but you would never love that person so much as you have loved that one you get married too. I really see marriage as something that will last forever, and yeah I do have my Christian’s views here and there is nothing no one can say that will make me change that. I mean I have friend that has been cheating while they have been married and then they have said that that they don’t hurt the other person because they have had it so bad. Well guess what you do hurt the other person, that one that you are married to!
But why can’t single guess respect that I am in a relationship, is it because I am blond, blue eyed or is there any other reasons, for that, honest I would want to know because when I had my hair brownish colored of course no one flirted with me as they do now! Uff I promise it is because I have my blond hair now, or that I am in a relationship, but when I think close about it, it has to be because I am blond, I have only problems when I am my original hair color.
Girls that is not blond, and blue eyed doesn’t understand how much trouble I have I was in spain when I was younger and if there hadn’t been Norwegian dude’s that helped me god knows what the other boys had done to me, they wanted to marry me, fuck me they were so rude to me, and they said blonds are more fun to fuck, strangely the boys from Norway helped me one said he was my boyfriend and told everyone to get the fuck hell away from me, then he gave me my bra to my bikini that I had dropped thanks to the waves out in the ocean.. Fun memory do I was so embraced because my bra was gone and one from Norway helped me, nice dude that boy.
Now I have to end this blog I really need a pee and have something to eat, Hope you have enjoyed this blog, and thank you my loving boyfriend for putting that dude to where he belongs, I love you <3
Monday, 14 February 2011
Valentine's crap
Valentine’s Day why do we celebrate that honest? I have been thinking of that the whole day, I mean it is something that is from the states that has come to Europe. Well that is how I think it is, but shouldn’t you be showing love every single day, to the persons you love, why should you be celebrate love for one day, give each other presents? Only a jippo I tell you!
I don’t know what is worse that you actually got flowers from two idiot, thank god they where yellow, and not so nice, well do I have to tell you where they went, oh yeah someone of the idiot has send chocolate to me, everyone that knows me knows I am allergic to it. It really sucks, oh yeah I do sound like a spoiled kid, but I DON’T WANT TO GET THINGS FROM THEM, I know who send me the things, because on the card they had written a note.
On the first one it stood like this, you are my sweet angel that I love so much; I want to share my life with you / J
And on the other card it stood, I love you and with these roses and chocolate I show you my true feelings / L
Well for the first L is trying to kill me, nice to know, and well why do they send me cards and presents when they aren’t even with me? They know for a fact I have a boyfriend that I love more than anything. Oh yeah they don’t know what respect is. They can really go to hell I don’t want to have anything to do with you two, please if you do love me as you say leave me alone.
Well I will actually not write so much more than what I have taken up!
/Johanna
I don’t know what is worse that you actually got flowers from two idiot, thank god they where yellow, and not so nice, well do I have to tell you where they went, oh yeah someone of the idiot has send chocolate to me, everyone that knows me knows I am allergic to it. It really sucks, oh yeah I do sound like a spoiled kid, but I DON’T WANT TO GET THINGS FROM THEM, I know who send me the things, because on the card they had written a note.
On the first one it stood like this, you are my sweet angel that I love so much; I want to share my life with you / J
And on the other card it stood, I love you and with these roses and chocolate I show you my true feelings / L
Well for the first L is trying to kill me, nice to know, and well why do they send me cards and presents when they aren’t even with me? They know for a fact I have a boyfriend that I love more than anything. Oh yeah they don’t know what respect is. They can really go to hell I don’t want to have anything to do with you two, please if you do love me as you say leave me alone.
Well I will actually not write so much more than what I have taken up!
/Johanna
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