grandpa..

Been thinking loads about you this few years.

I stick with myself because I have no one left, you took with you my soul, the pain sets in, keeps me from sleeping, slowly succeeding I think I dreaming, I can see your face please don’t fade away.

That is how I really feel about things when it comes to my grandpa, I know you don’t really understand how much I really miss him, I really don’t want to sleep as I know that I will dream about him, but the face is slowly really fading away from my memory I really can’t remember how he looks like not completely, the years has gone so fast, I really just miss you so much these days.

All I want is to be with you for only one hour so I can speak about all things I want to talk about that I don’t feel I can talk with anyone else, how can I tell them that I miss all the things we did when I was a kid, when you took me out on the boat to go fishing, when you didn’t have the cancer that slowly ate you, the thing that took you away from me, I remember the night you passed away, I called you some days before all I could hear was how much pain you had, when I said I love you, all you said we will see each other next summer, you knew you would die, in some days why didn’t you say you loved me? Why couldn’t you just have told me the truth from the beginning that you had the cancer that wouldn’t be able to take away? Why did you lie all along to me? I can’t understand that not even today.

I miss you so much and all I want is for you to hug me and say hello, then just smile and be without pain, that the only thing that I actually are happy with that you haven’t any pain where you are now, no problems at all, but I still can’t see you without thinking that I want to be with you, more than anything I miss you so much, no words in the world can actually say how much I do miss you, and how much I really want to be with you and hug you, go fishing,  and go shopping, or just go to be with you. I know I am mean when I don’t want to see grandma, but I can’t go there, everyone that sees me says that they miss you when they see me, I wonder why?