¤Today I will talk about something that I have been thinking loads on and that is why do people tend to spread rumors, lies and say that they know you better than anyone else?
I am amazed that other people knows my feelings better than what I do, I mean who are you to tell me that I am lying to be madly in love with my boyfriend? The thing I really can’t understand is why you had to talk about my feelings to others and to tell them that I wasn’t in love with him as that is something I haven’t lied about for a single moment, I think it is more about this, maybe just maybe you are the person that is secretly in love with someone and don’t have the guts to tell the person, or you have realise that the person doesn’t love you and he loves someone else? All I can say is that this reminds me of my best so called best friend that said rumors to get people not to fall in love with me, because I was the person that got the boys, but all I had was my eyes on Jonas when I was younger, a bad choice from myself. Even Jonas has said that to me, of all people you decided to trust in me, the person that treated you badly, and you never ever blinked once when people told you the truth you choose to believe in me, the person that lied to you. I know I should have listen to the others now today because they were right about him, but they never spread rumors that I wasn’t in love with him, they always said I was blind because I was in love with him. Well my so called best friend was also in love with him, but he never liked her in the same way there for she started to spread rumors that weren’t true so people would see me as a monster or something.
So those people that actually don’t believe that I am in love with Michael they are completely wrong, I feel extremely lucky that he loves me as much as I love him, he makes me smile like no one else, I feel lost without him, but I also know that there is no one else than me and Michael that knows how I feel as I never tend to talk about my feelings, what I really feel about him, what I can tell about myself is that I am a quiet person that really don’t like to talk about feelings and how I actually feel, but there is some people I do talk to and one of them are Michael, and he knows everything about me, and how I feel, and when people tells me that one person has said I am lying about my own feelings actually is not okay, I don’t go around and telling people you are pretending being in love with someone else, so please for everyone just grow up and stop pretending you care about me as you clearly don’t do that, as you have opinion on what I do, how I feel, when there is only one person in this world that knows how I feel and think and that is Me, no one else knows that if I don’t tell you how I feel.
I know when I did spread a rumor about one girl here, I lost everything in the end, as I lied about one thing, the thing I lost was my own self respect I can’t still believe that I sank to her level to be with one person, just for one hour, that person that I was with don’t want to have anything to do with me today because I lied about another girl to him, today I am glad that they two are together but I lost two wonderful people, the only person I have to blame is myself to spread the rumors, I know I haven’t been nice in the past I have been that high school drama girl, and honestly I did grow out that when I left high school, I am happy for those moments I had in high school but I am not proud of the things I did. I was a bitch to so many girls that wanted to talk to Jonas, I was really unsure about myself and about my feelings that I had to spread rumors about others to feel better, but in the end you feel worse if you are a normal person, with normal feelings.
There are pretty many rumors I have heard about myself, and I am still so shocked about some of them, but mostly I laugh at them. I will tell you some of them, then you can tell me what you have heard about yourself and we both can laugh about them together, as rumors are never true they are just a bunch of lies.
That I tell people that I have done a heart operation just so they will feel sorry for me. Okay this is probably the best rumor of all as this is not true at all, I tend to never talk about my heart operation to anyone that is something I have just talked to maybe two people that knows how I feel and all my fears about it, I mean I can tell people I have done a heart operation because they should think more than once to not do things that I don’t want them to do, and to live for one day a time, but those I have told that I have done a heart operation doesn’t have a clue how I feel or how scared I am to have to do one more, so no I don’t want people to think sorry for me and if I want that I would never use that at least.
That I have been out parting when I have been in bed sleeping because I had a swimming competition when I was younger, come on I started to party when I was around 17 and when I did party I got drunk and my friends brother always had to take care of me as I didn’t even know where I was, I am not proud of those days, I was so lost because of loads of things that happen, and that made me so fucked up, and when I drink I become so damn mean, I will be your worst nightmare, and I would never snog with a boy when I am drunk as I tend to tell them what I really feel and that is NO NEVER, I don’t like you now piss off.
That I am dead, oh yeah I wonder if anyone else have heard that about them self it was actually one person that called me home to say I am so sorry for you lost to my parents and when I answer she was like Johanna are you alive? And I was yeah ofcourse why would I be dead? And she told me the whole story, oh my gosh people really have to start to think what they say to others.
Well the thing is that rumors can hurt you in the end, but it can also hurt the people around the rumor, I mean if you are in a relationship and you say that the other person has been cheating think now, you don’t hurt the person you want to hurt, you hurt both by making up a lie that isn’t true, as the other person in the relationship will get hurt too, as he/she hears lies about the person that he/she loves, and that is not fair to that person. People should try to think like I have done for a long time.
-Respect people as you want to be respected, treat people like you want to get treated, make love not war.
Oh yeah I will end this blog post with STAND FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND SAID!
-Jo
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