Friendship

Friendship that is something that is amazing when it works perfectly but there is just one problem nothing works perfectly.

There is always good when you are good mates and everything goes well but as everyone that knows me good knows that I don’t like to talk about myself and what I think about deep down. So it still amazes me when people try to make me talk when I don’t want to talk. I know what happens when people try to make me talk I get all defensive and really try to protect me, just because I am used getting hurt.

I really start to think back on my time, when I was in grade 1-6 I did not have a single friend at all. I was complete alone and the thing is people still ask me how I could survive the bullied and the other things I went through, I only survived it because in the end I knew that I had my family no matter what, but I can say that I really need to thank one person that actually decided to get help when I almost strangled myself, because I never saw the good things in my life. People think I have had an easy life but they are wrong. Those that pretended to be my so called friends never cared about me in the end, they just stood by when I wanted to kill myself, but there was one boy that got his dad and well as he said it was good because I was hardly breathing when they cut the rope away. The thing I am not so proud of is that I asked one to tie it for me, but the person did it! People always say I was loved; I was not loved by anyone in Skepplanda.

Then I met a girl that I thought was my friend, in the end it showed that she a backstabbing bitch that only was with me because I was who I am today. She actually in the end choose to shag my ex, and talk trash about me to everyone I met.

But then I have met some good mates later on my younger years was really bad, I was mostly alone with that girl listening to backstreet boys, because I liked them and so did she, then I remember that she started to love Five oh my god I do remember their songs still. But the thing I am so blessed to have those mates I have today because they always tell me the truth and they would never betray me as a person. I know I can trust them. But there is one thing they have to learn and it is that I don’t share my deepest thoughts they are too hard to talk about, it will take a long time until I am ready talk about my past, my thoughts, and I feel ashamed to talk about them now too. But this blog has helped me lots because here I can talk about my past and my present and my future because I know that there is only some that actually reads my blog, and they respect me, oh well they don’t care to tell me what they feel really. But I don’t care because this blog is for me to work out the past that has happen to me, and what I think about things.

In a friendship you work for it to work, you should give and take, but there is not so many that does work for the friendship.

I mean I tried my best to be a good mate to some of them and yet we are not mates today, because they betrayed me. So today I want the friends to be honest no matter what, even if I treat a person wrong I want them to tell me, so I know. I am sick that people bullies you for who you are! I mean can I help what my name is? I can’t help if I am skinny, fat! Or even if I am blond or brunette, I can’t change who I am how much I want to. I am just sick of the false people.

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
- Elbert Hubard