Love, thoughts and life...

When you think about love, how can you explain what love is about, what you feel for someone.

Well I mean I love games like video games, but I can show that as I play them lots when I start. I love to swim and that you can see when I am in the water.

But to show a person that you love him oh my gosh that is too hard, what I mean you can write and say I love you, but what do the other person think when you say it? Do they believe in your words, or do they not believe in you, that is the question. I’ve tried to show how much I love one person, but honest I don’t think I have succeed with that, not to show how much I love him, and how much he means to me. As when it comes to telling how I feel and how much I truly miss him, I can’t as my words is not enough. I can’t show it either as I don’t know how to show it.

So the problem is I can’t write a love letter, I can’t write a song about it, I can’t even write a poem about it either. I don’t know what to say to him either; I have dreams lots of dreams. But the words doesn’t come out not in the right way, well the easiest time to talk to him is when he sleeps and looks like an adorable angel. I woke up last time when I was there with him, and I whispered some sweet things in his ear, what I truly feel, and how much I love him, kissed him on the cheek , then I took his arm and put it around me so I could fall asleep like an baby.

The thing that scares me most are the things I can’t talk about to anyone, so I think about them and then I get sad as I know that it is hard because my friends and loved one sees that something is on my mind but I can’t speak about them as they think I am silly. I can be afraid of losing things that matters to me, as I have never had any luck in my life, so I don’t tend to wait that something good will happen only bad things. But the thing is that I want to try to talk about things with my loved ones but I don’t know who to start with.

How can I have so dark thoughts, how can I think life is so hard? Why is it so hard to talk with people that you care about? What is the best thing you really can wait from life, that is that sometimes it will change to the better otherwise it wouldn’t be as hard as I have had it.

I know I will be able to talk to those I love, to tell my feelings and what I feel about but they might have to wait as I have never liked sharing my thoughts and how I feel. But sometimes that have to change, as I want to get a family. To have that you need to have trust and one love that you will share the most beautiful time in your life.

-Jo