My dear Grandpa, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to hear your voice again, sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won’t be there, as you are gone. Just that some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit, sometimes I just wanna hide because it’s you I miss, and it’s so hard to say goodbye ever when you are where you are, are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have just one more chance to look in to your eyes and say I love you, if I had just one more day with you I would tell you how much I that I’ve missed you since you’ve been away from me, you where the one that made me feel loved you where the one that was my friend when I alone.
Then I start to think about my other baby Molle my lovely cat I had for so many years, I slept with him every single night except the one year I was with you so much, why did the most important people leave me? Why couldn’t they live and the idiots that walks this world just go away?
There is no one that gets how I feel Grandpa, I wish you where beside me telling me what to do with my life, what I should be, I feel so lost today and have been lost for some time, as I miss you, I miss Molle, I miss other people, I feel so alone, even when people are around me I feel alone and lost? Because I know I can’t call you and say Hey it is me, I will be coming to you, I love you.
The last phone conversation we had I heard how much you where in pain and I wanted to take it away from you, but you just said we will see each other next summer, you lied you knew you would pass away, When I said I love you, for the last time I could hear how you started to cry from the pain, I really hate that you got what you had, I wish someone else could have got it so I could have had you beside me. I miss you so much and I can’t think about you still without starting to cry like a baby, I can barely talk about you with my family as my voice dies away.
All I want is one more day with you so I can fell happy as I did when I was with you, when we fished when we played Zelda or Mario. Or when you gave me sweets and you smiled because you weren’t in pain.
It has been so long time since I could touch you since I could hug you, talk to you, and I am ashamed I haven’t been and see you since you passed away, since we put you to rest, I am the only one that has hide for five years as I can’t go there, I would break apart as I do when I think about you…
I just need one more day to tell you everything I want to tell you, but I will not get that day..
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