I am so sick of my friends here in Sweden they bug me to get married to get kids, hey I am only 26 years old why rush to a marriage. If I had got married in the age of 18-20 it wouldn’t have last look at my friends they either are engage for the 2: nd time and going to get married again, or divorced with kids alone. Why rush to something that should be something that last forever!
Marriage is something you should share with the other person no matter what you shouldn’t cheat like some of my friends have done… Or get divorced if you don’t get along and fight because you don’t think the same thing over a wall paper you really have to breathe one more time to realize that that is a silly fight that makes you unhappy! Well if you get married you should love the person more than anything that person should be able to make you smile, and make you feel better but also to tell you when you are wrong, and lost, to make you on the right path again.
Now to my friend that thinks I am unhappy with my life you are so wrong because I have found that one that I know that I can share anything with, tell him anything, argue and still know that he loves me more than anything, I can’t wait until we move together and start to fight over a wall paper mostly it will be that I get pissed because I know he would just say: Babe, choose what you like I don’t care, but I want him to care so I will get annoyed more because he wants me to be happy.
Honest I have never seen a lad like he is, I can show him wedding dresses and he really say what he thinks about them, he says that I would look like a princesses in them and look adorable, like an angel. Honest I thought boys was afraid to talk about marriage and weddings but he isn’t he really tells me if he likes the dress or not. That is really good because if we end up getting married I know what king of dress I should choose to make him feel proud of me to becoming his wife. Marriages should be a celebration of the love between two people and not to be a show, I was on my friend’s wedding not long time ago and trust me they had guests around 500 people to just being showed out as I am getting married in a Vera W. dress and you can’t beat my marriage and oh well they are getting a divorce now it lasted six months honest was that a celebration to the love that they shared?
Yes I have realized that I am a lucky girl in the end, I have someone that makes me smile lots and makes me feel like I am the only human alive on this earth, I have some close friends and if I get married sometimes I know who is going to be my maid of honor, which will be Anna she is an awesome person that really know who I am.
Me and Anna haven’t had the easiest road it has been funny and had some sadness but in the end she is one of the people I have become so close that I would really get my lazy arse to her if she was in trouble or in pain, she would never lose me as a friend. I want her in my life for a long time. I hope you know that Anna.
//JJ
Friday, 7 January 2011
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
sneaking people
This will be fun when I think about it how many have fake accounts just so they can sneak on peoples pages they hate or dislike or even their boyfriends...
I have fake account on facebook mostly so I can see what people think about me, that has actually helped me more than anyone can know. People that doesn't think that it can be me has trashed talked about me to me, well idiots if someone I didn't know would start to ask me question about a person I wouldn't answer them. Because you don't know who is on the other side.
Then I made my twitter private and I get moaned about it, well if you want to see my twitts add me on it, but if you are not my friend there you don't have to see what I twitt about!
Then I have closed my facebook for the same reasons if you don't like me you don't have to see my wall either. I feel sorry for people that has open walls because people can see everything and then you get the fucking sneakers... Why not ask directly if you want to know a thing about the other person instead of trying to sneak!
There is a reason I might write on swedish sometimes on my facebook, but if you want to find out what I write you will have to do it yourself. I like when people that doesn't know swedish start to write in swedish mostly because that shows that they at least try to understand :)
Then to the other thing, friends that tries to sneak is the best I have a girl friend she sneaks so good, I actually ask her most of the times if I need someone to sneak she is awesome good at it :) she should be the new sherlock holmes =]
Well sometimes it can be good to sneak but not to often then you get paranoid :P
Well this blog will not be to long...
Peace Out !
//Johanna
I have fake account on facebook mostly so I can see what people think about me, that has actually helped me more than anyone can know. People that doesn't think that it can be me has trashed talked about me to me, well idiots if someone I didn't know would start to ask me question about a person I wouldn't answer them. Because you don't know who is on the other side.
Then I made my twitter private and I get moaned about it, well if you want to see my twitts add me on it, but if you are not my friend there you don't have to see what I twitt about!
Then I have closed my facebook for the same reasons if you don't like me you don't have to see my wall either. I feel sorry for people that has open walls because people can see everything and then you get the fucking sneakers... Why not ask directly if you want to know a thing about the other person instead of trying to sneak!
There is a reason I might write on swedish sometimes on my facebook, but if you want to find out what I write you will have to do it yourself. I like when people that doesn't know swedish start to write in swedish mostly because that shows that they at least try to understand :)
Then to the other thing, friends that tries to sneak is the best I have a girl friend she sneaks so good, I actually ask her most of the times if I need someone to sneak she is awesome good at it :) she should be the new sherlock holmes =]
Well sometimes it can be good to sneak but not to often then you get paranoid :P
Well this blog will not be to long...
Peace Out !
//Johanna
Monday, 3 January 2011
Love
Okey I will talk about love for one time, this will be so funny to talk about, while I have some shite song on..
Anyway I will start by telling my own experience about love and you can’t judge me because you might have had other feelings!
Okay I will just to say that I have a boyfriend that makes me so shy. All I can hope is that he doesn’t see how red I become in my so cute face as he always say I have. He makes me like a shy little girl I can’t really understand how he can make me be so shy.
He is really the sweetest. Yesterday when we cammed he said I looked absolutely adorable and I don’t need make up, and that second he started to tell me how beautiful I was looking the more I got shy, and wanted to hide from him. Poor him really he sees me so shy that I am actually thinking shit how can that wonderful person love me so much, and yet get me so girly. I don’t use to become so girly before him or the last months.
I know that I have found the right person because no one has made me so shy and so unsure about myself as a person, those feelings I have for my boyfriend is so hard to explain but when we don’t talk it actually hurts in my heart because I miss him so much, when I hear his voice I just want to listen to him for hours, because that voice is the best in this world. When he says I love you Johanna I get complete red in my face thank god he hasn’t seen that. When he talks to me even when I am sad he knows what to say to make me smile, I have someone I can talk to about everything without getting judge. I can say the most stupid thing and all he says is something nice back.
I wouldn’t change him for anyone, because I know he is the best boy out here in this world. No one comes close to his beauty or how he treats other people. He is totally amazing I feel honored that he wants to have me as his girlfriend. Because I know I am far from a good person like he is. I don’t care but all I want is to be a better person so I will not lose him because he is the reason I’m as girly I have become and smile so much as I do.
I wouldn’t change me just get better as a person, I don’t care if people hate me or love me but I would care if my boyfriend starts to think that I have become a bad person because his opinion is something I care about.
I can’t believe I have had him for five months already, honest it has been the best five months in my whole life, probably only one thing that beats this love and it was my heart operation that is the reason I am alive today.
The love I feel now is something that is hard to explain with words, but I feel completely complete like there isn’t anything missing in my life, have anyone else have had that feeling or is it just me?
Please take care of the people you love. Because you might end up losing them, if you don’t take care of them. Stay away from being jealous, if you are together with a person he/she loves you, and if you are jealous you only push them away from you, and you end up losing them or that they are unfaithful or break up with you. That would be my best advice to all my readers.
Peace out!
Love you all, but mostly I love Michael so so so so so so much
/ JJ
Anyway I will start by telling my own experience about love and you can’t judge me because you might have had other feelings!
Okay I will just to say that I have a boyfriend that makes me so shy. All I can hope is that he doesn’t see how red I become in my so cute face as he always say I have. He makes me like a shy little girl I can’t really understand how he can make me be so shy.
He is really the sweetest. Yesterday when we cammed he said I looked absolutely adorable and I don’t need make up, and that second he started to tell me how beautiful I was looking the more I got shy, and wanted to hide from him. Poor him really he sees me so shy that I am actually thinking shit how can that wonderful person love me so much, and yet get me so girly. I don’t use to become so girly before him or the last months.
I know that I have found the right person because no one has made me so shy and so unsure about myself as a person, those feelings I have for my boyfriend is so hard to explain but when we don’t talk it actually hurts in my heart because I miss him so much, when I hear his voice I just want to listen to him for hours, because that voice is the best in this world. When he says I love you Johanna I get complete red in my face thank god he hasn’t seen that. When he talks to me even when I am sad he knows what to say to make me smile, I have someone I can talk to about everything without getting judge. I can say the most stupid thing and all he says is something nice back.
I wouldn’t change him for anyone, because I know he is the best boy out here in this world. No one comes close to his beauty or how he treats other people. He is totally amazing I feel honored that he wants to have me as his girlfriend. Because I know I am far from a good person like he is. I don’t care but all I want is to be a better person so I will not lose him because he is the reason I’m as girly I have become and smile so much as I do.
I wouldn’t change me just get better as a person, I don’t care if people hate me or love me but I would care if my boyfriend starts to think that I have become a bad person because his opinion is something I care about.
I can’t believe I have had him for five months already, honest it has been the best five months in my whole life, probably only one thing that beats this love and it was my heart operation that is the reason I am alive today.
The love I feel now is something that is hard to explain with words, but I feel completely complete like there isn’t anything missing in my life, have anyone else have had that feeling or is it just me?
Please take care of the people you love. Because you might end up losing them, if you don’t take care of them. Stay away from being jealous, if you are together with a person he/she loves you, and if you are jealous you only push them away from you, and you end up losing them or that they are unfaithful or break up with you. That would be my best advice to all my readers.
Peace out!
Love you all, but mostly I love Michael so so so so so so much
/ JJ
Friday, 31 December 2010
My year in a short essay
This year I will end up with writing what has happen the whole year for me as a person. This will probably be the most truthfully blog yet so don’t judge me…
The year started with the worst hangover ever promise I had my hangover for at least three days. That was the reason I decided to end drinking complete. People have asked me why I don’t drink but honest it isn’t worth feeling shit for days.
Then what more happen in January I had to go to pointless meetings, study mathematic and the teacher wasn’t even able to help me. He said I was too smart for him
February was just complete boring, I felt alone as most of my friends have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you have Valentine’s day well just say that it was a day you really want to have someone to share it with but I was alone and didn’t share it with anyone.
Mars, April and May was really pointless months in my life don’t even remember what happen here but I know I was looking forward to the world cup.
June the world cup started and my life seemed to be good was happy and summer was on the way but somehow it would come crushing me down the next month.
July all I really remember from this month was that I had a break down I almost lost a good friend :< anyway everything went for the best in the end.
August: probably was the best month because I got my boyfriend and I found out things I never thought was meant to be for me.
September my best friend from my childhood decided to break every trust that I had in friendship she really just decided to lie the shit and hasn’t even confess today that she was with a guy that beat her up, well it’s her choice but she has a kid to think about
October I started to talk to a person that has helped me lots in thoughts about my future that lead me to the school I am in now that I started in November.
November was really a month where I was ill I got my hand operated and then I got other things but eh at least I will not be ill so much now.
December: Have just been great lots of snow and cold weather really what I like but somehow it is the month I realize I feel alone when I am not alone.
That is short what has happen to me during this year but I will continue with the friendships I have got and lost this year mostly because I need to get it out before 2011 so I can’t talk to others about
This year it really started that some girls started to trash talk about me because I fall for a boy I think I didn’t really realize that it would get so much attention that I fall inlove with someone but I guess I was wrong, in this time I saw who was a true friend and who wasn’t a true friend. Just say this that now in the end of this year I have heard what the girls has said about me and it is nothing nice one actually said to another person that I was destroying a relationship by falling inlove with the boy.
The thing is that in this part the boy and I talked and he never told me that I was in the way if he would have told me that I would have respected his wish since I love him.
Then in the summer one person told me to not to be friend with another amazing person because she liked a boy that liked this girl. Anyway it ended up that I was the black sheep in the whole thing and I got so much from people I didn’t know that I actually spoke to the boy about the things, he was amazing that day he made me feel like I was a person. Because the person that made me feel like I should hang myself bad thing really.
Then one other girl started to tell me that I control one other person that is totally bullshite you can’t control anyone. But she also told me that I should stay away from him but honest why would I stay away from my boyfriend. That was my only thought.
But now to the most sadly thing that is that one friend decided to go together with her ex boyfriend that beats her and use her in a bad way, okay they have a kid but honest I can’t see why she would choose him over her friend. She lost many friends thanks to this thing, and then she lied about it why not be honest and just say Johanna I am with him again. Okay I wouldn’t support her but she knows that she lost my friendship thanks to her choice to lie about a silly think like that.
This year I have thought what love is about it is to respect the other person and listen even if you don’t agree with him/her, that you can share everything with one person is really amazing and to feel complete in some way I can’t explain the thing is that I feel so complete that nothing can break me apart literally.
One thing I really learned this year was that even if people hate you and trash talk you, you just have to show the other people that you aren’t like that, I mean I almost lost one friend but we decided to keep talking and we build a friendship that lead us on a different path and even if was probably the worst moments in my life when I heard those words that that person said to me, I also know you have to show the real person you are and if that isn’t enough for the others they aren’t worthy you time.
This year has really been too much tears and tears people think they really know how it feels to be me, but they don’t my ex boyfriend Jonas actually said to me that he was glad he wasn’t me and he wouldn’t even want to change life for one day with me because he knows how hard it is to be me.
This year has change me as a person lots, I have learned to not trust in anyone since they always break the trust there are only a few people I trust in complete and this year I will just be more careful than ever I am sick of getting hurt and feeling so hated as I have felt this year. I know I have become stronger and that is good :)
I hope this New Year will come with lots of happiness and love that is something I need for a change.
Now to everyone that has read this thank you for the time and I have got out what I wanted to say I think.
Peace out my readers and be safe tonight
The year started with the worst hangover ever promise I had my hangover for at least three days. That was the reason I decided to end drinking complete. People have asked me why I don’t drink but honest it isn’t worth feeling shit for days.
Then what more happen in January I had to go to pointless meetings, study mathematic and the teacher wasn’t even able to help me. He said I was too smart for him
February was just complete boring, I felt alone as most of my friends have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you have Valentine’s day well just say that it was a day you really want to have someone to share it with but I was alone and didn’t share it with anyone.
Mars, April and May was really pointless months in my life don’t even remember what happen here but I know I was looking forward to the world cup.
June the world cup started and my life seemed to be good was happy and summer was on the way but somehow it would come crushing me down the next month.
July all I really remember from this month was that I had a break down I almost lost a good friend :< anyway everything went for the best in the end.
August: probably was the best month because I got my boyfriend and I found out things I never thought was meant to be for me.
September my best friend from my childhood decided to break every trust that I had in friendship she really just decided to lie the shit and hasn’t even confess today that she was with a guy that beat her up, well it’s her choice but she has a kid to think about
October I started to talk to a person that has helped me lots in thoughts about my future that lead me to the school I am in now that I started in November.
November was really a month where I was ill I got my hand operated and then I got other things but eh at least I will not be ill so much now.
December: Have just been great lots of snow and cold weather really what I like but somehow it is the month I realize I feel alone when I am not alone.
That is short what has happen to me during this year but I will continue with the friendships I have got and lost this year mostly because I need to get it out before 2011 so I can’t talk to others about
This year it really started that some girls started to trash talk about me because I fall for a boy I think I didn’t really realize that it would get so much attention that I fall inlove with someone but I guess I was wrong, in this time I saw who was a true friend and who wasn’t a true friend. Just say this that now in the end of this year I have heard what the girls has said about me and it is nothing nice one actually said to another person that I was destroying a relationship by falling inlove with the boy.
The thing is that in this part the boy and I talked and he never told me that I was in the way if he would have told me that I would have respected his wish since I love him.
Then in the summer one person told me to not to be friend with another amazing person because she liked a boy that liked this girl. Anyway it ended up that I was the black sheep in the whole thing and I got so much from people I didn’t know that I actually spoke to the boy about the things, he was amazing that day he made me feel like I was a person. Because the person that made me feel like I should hang myself bad thing really.
Then one other girl started to tell me that I control one other person that is totally bullshite you can’t control anyone. But she also told me that I should stay away from him but honest why would I stay away from my boyfriend. That was my only thought.
But now to the most sadly thing that is that one friend decided to go together with her ex boyfriend that beats her and use her in a bad way, okay they have a kid but honest I can’t see why she would choose him over her friend. She lost many friends thanks to this thing, and then she lied about it why not be honest and just say Johanna I am with him again. Okay I wouldn’t support her but she knows that she lost my friendship thanks to her choice to lie about a silly think like that.
This year I have thought what love is about it is to respect the other person and listen even if you don’t agree with him/her, that you can share everything with one person is really amazing and to feel complete in some way I can’t explain the thing is that I feel so complete that nothing can break me apart literally.
One thing I really learned this year was that even if people hate you and trash talk you, you just have to show the other people that you aren’t like that, I mean I almost lost one friend but we decided to keep talking and we build a friendship that lead us on a different path and even if was probably the worst moments in my life when I heard those words that that person said to me, I also know you have to show the real person you are and if that isn’t enough for the others they aren’t worthy you time.
This year has really been too much tears and tears people think they really know how it feels to be me, but they don’t my ex boyfriend Jonas actually said to me that he was glad he wasn’t me and he wouldn’t even want to change life for one day with me because he knows how hard it is to be me.
This year has change me as a person lots, I have learned to not trust in anyone since they always break the trust there are only a few people I trust in complete and this year I will just be more careful than ever I am sick of getting hurt and feeling so hated as I have felt this year. I know I have become stronger and that is good :)
I hope this New Year will come with lots of happiness and love that is something I need for a change.
Now to everyone that has read this thank you for the time and I have got out what I wanted to say I think.
Peace out my readers and be safe tonight
Good song
I really like only girl in the world with Rihanna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa14VNsdSYM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa14VNsdSYM
Monday, 27 December 2010
this is the blond brain and how it works ;)
Okey lets say this YOU are so nice to read this! Now let me see I didn't know I was so popular really that even people that lives in Argentina, Mexico, Kuwait, Singapore, Croatia, Bosnia, Egypt, United Kingdom, United States of America, Venezuela and of course Sweden well there are many more too, but I can’t be arsed telling you what they are ;)
Anyway I have found out that people that doesn’t like me reads my damn blog hmm yeah that makes sense I guess, Let me ask you this if you don’t like me why would you want to read what is going on with my life, my opinions, my thoughts ? oh I guess you want to know how things are going with Michael, and when I fall on my arse on the ice ;) oh funny things because of that I shall not write anything about my boyfriend because you will not have the fun to know how good we have it ;)
So now to something I really like to do that is to pretend to be stupid and somehow I do succeed to trick some people with it so they actually think I don’t know when they trash talk me but guess what I do know when you do it since I am not stupid as you think haha wait wait I need to laugh some time now HAHAHAHAHAHA you think I am so blond but you haven’t even cared enough to find out what my brain hides ;)
Now to one pointless talk with my own brain
Thought 1: what should I do
Thought 2: Hate boys that mails you to many pointless mails..
Thought 1: oh yeah that is fun, why do they want me?
Thought2: Because you are hot
Thought1: No I am not hot, WIIIIEEEEE I am so good at this...
Thought 2: what are you good in ?
Thought 1: To think and talk in the same way
Thought 2: suck...
Thought 3: COKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thought 4: I really wonder if I can survive a black hole
Thought 3: Coke Drooooooling
Thought 2: This is to thought 4 I don’t care I want to know why boys are so mean and idiotic
Thought 4: you hurt me now..
Anyway that is how it can look in my brain...
My teacher said I have a different way of looking at the world and it is dangerous to talk when I am around since I listen more than people realize because it’s good to just listen and then ask them you say you don’t like me., but why can’t you just confess that to my face instead of trash talk me
You might think I am strange because I love things you don’t but my biggest passion is to see things different than you do because then I can be creative and think I can survive the so called world we live in, without my thoughts I would really go mad and jump from mount everest and be dead…
If people really wonder what is the point with me blogging I would say nothing, but I write because it makes me feel better when I get out the things from my head. I feel better in some strange way.
Well today it has been damn cold here in Gothenburg bad thing to go in leggings and a skirt… someday I might really become an ice cube.
Now to the ending, Hates feel so free to read as much as you want, but you can’t even confess you are so nosey that you really want to know what is happening in my life, SUCKERS! I know that Jonas and Linus reads my blog and they talk about it to my common friends.. Anyway I have a song I love to listen to and it is homeless with darin, you should listen to it closely…
Now to the wise words someone else has said before me, “never change for anyone, be yourself no matter what, and people will love you for who you are, if you change they will not see the real human being you are!”
“carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero”
and
“Aliguando et insanire iucundum est”
Try to remember them always
Peace out my lovely readers
Anyway I have found out that people that doesn’t like me reads my damn blog hmm yeah that makes sense I guess, Let me ask you this if you don’t like me why would you want to read what is going on with my life, my opinions, my thoughts ? oh I guess you want to know how things are going with Michael, and when I fall on my arse on the ice ;) oh funny things because of that I shall not write anything about my boyfriend because you will not have the fun to know how good we have it ;)
So now to something I really like to do that is to pretend to be stupid and somehow I do succeed to trick some people with it so they actually think I don’t know when they trash talk me but guess what I do know when you do it since I am not stupid as you think haha wait wait I need to laugh some time now HAHAHAHAHAHA you think I am so blond but you haven’t even cared enough to find out what my brain hides ;)
Now to one pointless talk with my own brain
Thought 1: what should I do
Thought 2: Hate boys that mails you to many pointless mails..
Thought 1: oh yeah that is fun, why do they want me?
Thought2: Because you are hot
Thought1: No I am not hot, WIIIIEEEEE I am so good at this...
Thought 2: what are you good in ?
Thought 1: To think and talk in the same way
Thought 2: suck...
Thought 3: COKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thought 4: I really wonder if I can survive a black hole
Thought 3: Coke Drooooooling
Thought 2: This is to thought 4 I don’t care I want to know why boys are so mean and idiotic
Thought 4: you hurt me now..
Anyway that is how it can look in my brain...
My teacher said I have a different way of looking at the world and it is dangerous to talk when I am around since I listen more than people realize because it’s good to just listen and then ask them you say you don’t like me., but why can’t you just confess that to my face instead of trash talk me
You might think I am strange because I love things you don’t but my biggest passion is to see things different than you do because then I can be creative and think I can survive the so called world we live in, without my thoughts I would really go mad and jump from mount everest and be dead…
If people really wonder what is the point with me blogging I would say nothing, but I write because it makes me feel better when I get out the things from my head. I feel better in some strange way.
Well today it has been damn cold here in Gothenburg bad thing to go in leggings and a skirt… someday I might really become an ice cube.
Now to the ending, Hates feel so free to read as much as you want, but you can’t even confess you are so nosey that you really want to know what is happening in my life, SUCKERS! I know that Jonas and Linus reads my blog and they talk about it to my common friends.. Anyway I have a song I love to listen to and it is homeless with darin, you should listen to it closely…
Now to the wise words someone else has said before me, “never change for anyone, be yourself no matter what, and people will love you for who you are, if you change they will not see the real human being you are!”
“carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero”
and
“Aliguando et insanire iucundum est”
Try to remember them always
Peace out my lovely readers
Sunday, 26 December 2010
Christmas , new years eve, and feelings
Okay really are going to write about my Christmas since I didn’t have the Christmas spirit, for the first it was a bad day when I woke up on Christmas eve, here in Sweden we celebrate it 24. Anyway I woke up and I felt alone even if my whole family was there and it sucked I don’t really know what has happen these days I feel so alone and I can’t explain why either.
Well I did my last Christmas shopping the 23 and I have never ever been so late with my Christmas shopping, then I didn’t get to eat warm ham.
Well Christmas it feels like you can be on your own next year if you feel like I did we where 12 people and I felt more alone than ever. I have tried to figure out why I feel so alone these days but I can’t come up why I feel so alone. It doesn’t matter if I am with just three people or more I just feel so alone and more or less lost in something.
I think I am strange in some things since people don’t really like me as a person this holidays have made me realize that no one really respect what I want as a human being, all I want it to sleep and be in bed and just cry because I can’t come up what is wrong with me. The thing is that I know something is wrong and it is really wrong I don’t feel like a person anymore the thing is I feel more lost than ever and no one knows how bad it is really. Everyone is just telling me that everything is good, I have tried to talk to people that is close because they are the people that can help me I feel I know I probably should talk to those that love me, but honest it is so hard to talk to them, because they only want me to be happy and feel good.
I wonder is there anyone that actually feels like me. So alone even when you have someone that loves you more than anything, your family close, but all you want is to hide and never want anyone to get to you.
I know some people will moan to me, but if you say you know me good, well you should really know when I feel like I do! Yeah I can confess one thing I wouldn´t just go to my friends and say hey I don’t feel good, please help me, I get really quiet and close myself out from the people close to me.
Well now to New Years Eve all I want is to be alone and watch some movie and just hide from the world if this year anyway starts bad maybe next year will start great. Or that is what I am hoping for since last year I was so happy and everything just fall apart in June, I was wrong to be happy so long time, anyway now I am happy too, don’t get me wrong I am just really lost in everything.
My girl mates are moaning to me that I don’t have kids; they want me to become a mum so I can do things with them. Oh yeah one is getting married this year so everyone guess what they are pressuring me to do, yeah you do guess right if you said to get married since they all are going to do that.
Well I guess all the talk that my so called friends are giving me is the best thing to give a person that is lost as I am. Well one person got a divorce and then she has already a new one well this person is actually telling me to get a boyfriend that loves me for me and lives close to me. Well I am not so good at relationships when I think about it I have had one boyfriend before the person I have now. Anyway that relationship wasn’t so good lucky me he was gay no comment why he even was with me when he knew he was it. Just my luck I guess. Then my girl friends doesn’t understand when I say that you can’t trust in a guy but who can blame me that person I was with didn’t love me at all he was in to guys. So I have a bad experience with relationship.
Oh yeah than I had that idiot person on facebook that mailed me an inbox telling me that he wants me to forget my boyfriend that I love more than anything, so he can take me, only gonna say that I would really take him instead I mean he is from Africa somewhere oh yeah as we all know, Johanna wouldn't take anyone that is from Africa! Fucking idiot really destroyed my so good holiday more then anything, If i had a gun and was close to that person I would have shot him and don't even regret it, damn i sound like a cold bloody murderer good that it was just in my head.
Now my New Years Eve will rock when I am in bed all alone thinking of better times. Nothing beats to be alone with your great brain that always tells you that everything is going to be okey in the end.
I hope people have had a great Christmas and haven’t been thinking as much as I have.
Oh yeah to those that reads this don’t freak out, I am just a bit lost in my life right now..
Peace out!
Well I did my last Christmas shopping the 23 and I have never ever been so late with my Christmas shopping, then I didn’t get to eat warm ham.
Well Christmas it feels like you can be on your own next year if you feel like I did we where 12 people and I felt more alone than ever. I have tried to figure out why I feel so alone these days but I can’t come up why I feel so alone. It doesn’t matter if I am with just three people or more I just feel so alone and more or less lost in something.
I think I am strange in some things since people don’t really like me as a person this holidays have made me realize that no one really respect what I want as a human being, all I want it to sleep and be in bed and just cry because I can’t come up what is wrong with me. The thing is that I know something is wrong and it is really wrong I don’t feel like a person anymore the thing is I feel more lost than ever and no one knows how bad it is really. Everyone is just telling me that everything is good, I have tried to talk to people that is close because they are the people that can help me I feel I know I probably should talk to those that love me, but honest it is so hard to talk to them, because they only want me to be happy and feel good.
I wonder is there anyone that actually feels like me. So alone even when you have someone that loves you more than anything, your family close, but all you want is to hide and never want anyone to get to you.
I know some people will moan to me, but if you say you know me good, well you should really know when I feel like I do! Yeah I can confess one thing I wouldn´t just go to my friends and say hey I don’t feel good, please help me, I get really quiet and close myself out from the people close to me.
Well now to New Years Eve all I want is to be alone and watch some movie and just hide from the world if this year anyway starts bad maybe next year will start great. Or that is what I am hoping for since last year I was so happy and everything just fall apart in June, I was wrong to be happy so long time, anyway now I am happy too, don’t get me wrong I am just really lost in everything.
My girl mates are moaning to me that I don’t have kids; they want me to become a mum so I can do things with them. Oh yeah one is getting married this year so everyone guess what they are pressuring me to do, yeah you do guess right if you said to get married since they all are going to do that.
Well I guess all the talk that my so called friends are giving me is the best thing to give a person that is lost as I am. Well one person got a divorce and then she has already a new one well this person is actually telling me to get a boyfriend that loves me for me and lives close to me. Well I am not so good at relationships when I think about it I have had one boyfriend before the person I have now. Anyway that relationship wasn’t so good lucky me he was gay no comment why he even was with me when he knew he was it. Just my luck I guess. Then my girl friends doesn’t understand when I say that you can’t trust in a guy but who can blame me that person I was with didn’t love me at all he was in to guys. So I have a bad experience with relationship.
Oh yeah than I had that idiot person on facebook that mailed me an inbox telling me that he wants me to forget my boyfriend that I love more than anything, so he can take me, only gonna say that I would really take him instead I mean he is from Africa somewhere oh yeah as we all know, Johanna wouldn't take anyone that is from Africa! Fucking idiot really destroyed my so good holiday more then anything, If i had a gun and was close to that person I would have shot him and don't even regret it, damn i sound like a cold bloody murderer good that it was just in my head.
Now my New Years Eve will rock when I am in bed all alone thinking of better times. Nothing beats to be alone with your great brain that always tells you that everything is going to be okey in the end.
I hope people have had a great Christmas and haven’t been thinking as much as I have.
Oh yeah to those that reads this don’t freak out, I am just a bit lost in my life right now..
Peace out!
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